“For Purgatory, ’tis not material in it self, whether it be, or where it be, no more than the World in the Moon; but so long as that false Fire serves to maintain a true one, and his Holiness’s Kitchen smokes with the Rents he receives for releasing Souls from thence, which never came there, it concerns him and his to see to it, that it be not suffer’d to go out.”
An ingenious Author, Sir Richard Steel, has of late made a Dedication to his Holiness the Pope himself, before a Book entitled, An Account of the State of the Roman Catholick Religion throughout the World, &c. In which Dedication, that most exalted Clergyman the Pope, that [suppos’d] infallible Dictator in Religion, and most grave Person; who, if serious Matters and Persons were always to be treated seriously, may vie with any other Mortal for a Right to serious Treatment; is expos’d by incomparable Drollery and Irony to the utmost Contempt, to the universal Satisfaction of Protestant Readers, who have been pleas’d to see a gross Impostor, however respected and ador’d by godly and serious Papists, so treated.
VI. In fine, it is suited to the common Practice of this Nation to ridicule Popery as well as Nonconformity; and tho several grave Books, written among us against Popery, in the Reign of King James II. (of which yet the Romish Priests complain’d, as treating the King’s [82] Religion with Contempt) were then very well receiv’d and applauded for Learning and strength of Arguing; yet, I believe, it may with more Propriety be said, that King James II. and Popery were [83] laugh’d or Lilli-bullero’d, than that they were argu’d out of the Kingdom.
The reading the King’s Declaration of Indulgence in Churches 1688, had this fatal Jest put upon it by a reverend Divine, “Who pleasantly told his People, That tho he was obliged to read it, they were not obliged to hear it[84]; and stop’d till they all went out, and then he read it to the Walls.” To which may be added, the famous Mr. Wallop’s excellent Comparison of that Declaration upon the Instant of its Publication, to the scaffolding of St. Paul’s Church; which, as soon as the Building was finish’d, would be pull’d down.
Bishop Burnet celebrates, with the greatest Justness, our Taste, and indeed the Taste of the World in this Respect, when he relates how Popery was then used among us; and he recites some of the Jests which passed and were received with universal Applause. He tells us[85], “The Court was now (that is, in 1686,) much set on making Converts, which fail’d in most Instances, and produc’d Repartees; that whether true or false, were much repeated, and were heard with great Satisfaction. The Earl of Mulgrave (since Duke of Buckinghamshire) was Lord Chamberlain; he was apt to comply in every thing that he thought might be acceptable, for he went with the King to Mass, and kneeled at it; and being look’d on as indifferent to all Religions, the Priests made an Attack upon him: He heard them gravely arguing for Transubstantiation. He told them he was willing to receive Instruction; he had taken much Pains to bring himself to believe in God, who made the World and all Men in it: But it must not be an ordinary Force of Argument that could make him believe that Man was quits with God, and made God again. The Earl of Middleton had marry’d into a Popish Family, and was a Man of great Parts and a generous Temper, but of loose Principles in Religion; so a Priest was sent to instruct him. He began with Transubstantiation, of which he said he would convince him immediately: And began thus, You believe the Trinity. Middleton stop’d him, and said, who told you so? At which he seem’d amazed. So the Earl said, he expected he should convince him of his Belief, but not question him of his own: With this the Priest was so disorder’d, that he could proceed no farther. One Day the King gave the Duke of Norfolk the Sword of State to carry before him to the Chappel, and he stood at the Door. Upon which the King said to him, My Lord, your Father would have gone farther. To which the Duke answer’d, Your Majesty’s Father was the better Man, and he would not have gone so far. Kirk was also spoken to, to change his Religion, and he reply’d briskly, that he was already pre-engag’d, for he had promised the King of Morocco, that if ever he chang’d his Religion he would turn Mahometan.” When K. James sent an Irish Priest to convert the D. of Bucks [Villers] the said Duke entertain’d the Priest with a Bottle, and engag’d him in a Dialogue, which the Duke afterwards caus’d to be printed, to the no small Mortification of all Papists, who were therein exceedingly ridicul’d, and to the Triumph of all good Churchmen, who are never better pleas’d, than when they have the Laugh on their side.
At this time also were publish’d two merry Books, by a couple of our Divines, with express View to make Protestants laugh at Popery, as at a Farce; and they were, The School of the Eucharist, wherein is a Collection of ridiculous Miracles, pretended to be wrought to support the Truth of Transubstantiation, and Purgatory prov’d by Miracles.
I must not omit another incomparable Piece of Wit and Raillery against Popery, publish’d at that time. It seems the famous Poet, Dryden, thought fit to declare himself a Roman Catholick; and had, as ’tis said, a Penance injoyn’d him by his Confessor, for having formerly written The Spanish Fryar, of composing some Treatise in a poetical way for Popery, and against the Reformation. This he executed in a Poem, intituled, The Hind and Panther; which, setting aside the Absurdity of the Matters therein asserted, and of the several Arguments to maintain them, is, in other Respects, one of the most mean Compositions that ever the Press produc’d. Was it proper to pass over in silence such a Work, from whence probably the Popish Party expected great Matters, as knowing the Efficacy of Poetry, and being Witnesses of the Success the Author had had in his Absalom and Achitophel against the Whigs? Was it proper to write seriously and gravely against a Book, wherein the Author every where aims at Wit, Irony, and Burlesque, and does himself make so ridiculous a Figure, as to be a standing Jest throughout the whole? Was not the Convert himself, as such, a Jest, or as professing any Religion, a Jest; who argu’d for Pay, and spoke as he was brib’d, and would have profess’d any Opinions, as is the Mode and Practice of the World, to which Salary and Preferments are annexed? Some ingenious Persons of the Times took a better Method, and agreeably to the Temper and Disposition of our Countrymen, and to the nature of Dryden’s Attack, and his interested Writing for Religion, made a Return in a Paper intituled, The Hind and Panther transvers’d to the Story of the Country-Mouse and City-Mouse: Out of which, for a Specimen of just Irony, and fine Raillery, I will give you the following Passage.
“Sirrah, says Brindle, thou hast brought us Wine,
“Sour to my Taste, and to my Eyes unfine.
“Says Will, All Gentlemen like it. Ah! says White,
“What is approved by them must needs be right.
“’Tis true, I thought it bad, but if the House
“Commend it, I submit, a private Mouse.
“Nor to their Catholick Consent oppose
“My erring Judgment and reforming Nose.
“[86]Why, what a Devil, shan’t I trust my Eyes,
“Must I drink Stum, because the Rascal lies,
“And palms upon us Catholick Consent,
“To give sophisticated Brewings Vent?
“Says White, what antient Evidence can sway,
“If you must argue thus and not obey?
“Drawers must be trusted, thro’ whose hands convey’d
“You take the Liquor, or you spoil the Trade.
“For sure those honest Fellows have no Knack
“Of putting off stum’d Claret for Pontack.
“How long alas! would the poor Vintner last,
“If all that drink must judge, and every Guest
“Be allow’d to have an understanding Taste?
VII. I question whether High-Church would be willing to have the reverend Author of the Tale of a Tub, one of the greatest Droles that ever appear’d upon the Stage of the World, punish’d for that or any other of his drolling Works: For tho religious Matters, and all the various Forms of Christianity have therein a considerable Share of Ridicule; yet in regard of his Drollery upon the Whigs, Dissenters, and the War with France (things of as serious and weighty Consideration, and as much affecting the Peace of Society, as Justification by Faith only, Predestination, Transubstantiation, or Constansubstantiation, or Questions about religious Ceremonies, or any such interested Matters) the Convocation in their famous Representation of the Profaneness and Blasphemy of the Nation, took no notice of his drolling on Christianity: And his Usefulness in Drollery and Ridicule was deem’d sufficient by the Pious Queen Anne, and her pious Ministry, to intitle him to a Church Preferment of several hundred Pounds per Ann. [87] which she bestow’d upon him, notwithstanding a fanatick High-Churchman, who weakly thought Seriousness in Religion of more use to High-Church than Drollery, and attempted to hinder his Promotion, by representing to her Majesty, “What a Scandal it would be both to Church and State to bestow Preferment upon a Clergyman, who was hardly suspected of being a Christian.” Besides, High-Church receives daily most signal Services from his drolling Capacity, which has of late exerted itself on the Jacobite Stage of Mist’s and Fogg’s Journal, and in other little Papers publish’d in Ireland; in which he endeavours to expose the present Administration of publick Affairs to contempt, to inflame the Irish Nation against the English, and to make them throw off all Subjection to the English Government, to satirize Bishop Burnet and other Whig Bishops; and, in fine, to pave the way for a new or Popish Revolution, as far as choosing the most proper Topicks of Invective, and treating of them in the way of Drollery, can do.
VIII. It is well known, that Gravity, Preciseness, Solemnity, Sourness, formal Dress and Behaviour, Sobriety of Manners, keeping at a distance from the common Pastimes of the World, Aversion to Rites and Ceremonies in the publick Worship, and to Pictures, Images, and Musick in Churches; mixing Religion in common Conversion, using long Graces, practising Family-Worship, part of which was praying ex tempore; setting up and hearing Lectures, and a strict Observation of the Lord’s Day, which was call’d the Sabbath, were the Parts of the Character of a Puritan; who, it is to be observ’d, usually had the Imputation of Hypocrisy for his great and extraordinary Pretences to Religion: He was also a great Opposer of the Court-Measures in the Reign of King James and King Charles I. and most zealous for Law, Liberty, and Property, when those two Princes set up for raising Money by their own Authority, and in consequence thereof, fell into numerous other Acts of Violence and Injustice. It is also well known, that to quell these Puritans, and lessen their Credit, and baffle all their Pretences, Gaiety, Mirth, Pastimes or Sports, were incourag’d and requir’d on Sundays of the People, that Churches were render’d gay, theatrical, and pleasant by the Decorations, Paintings, Musick, and Ceremonies therein perform’d[88]; and that the utmost Ridicule was employ’d against some of them, as Enthusiasts, and against others of them as Hypocrites, and against them all as factious and seditious, by their Adversaries; who were under no Restraints, but incourag’d to write with Scorn, Contempt, Raillery and Satire against these suppos’d Enemies of Church and State. Nor did the great Success of the Puritans in the Field of Battle suppress that Vein and Humour of Ridicule begun against them; but the Laudean Party still carry’d on a Paper War with innumerable Pamphlets, which all tended more or less to make the World laugh at and ridicule the Puritans. And I am verily persuaded, that no History of any other Country in the World can produce a Parallel, wherein the Principle and Practice of Ridicule were ever so strongly encourag’d, and so constantly pursu’d, fix’d and rooted in the Minds of Men, as it was and is in Churchmen against Puritans and Dissenters. Even at this Day the Ridicule is so strong against the present Dissenters, so promoted by Clergy and Laity, especially in Villages and small Country Towns, that they are unable to withstand its Force, but daily come over in Numbers to the Church to avoid being laugh’d at. It seems to me a Mark of Distinction more likely to last in the Church than any other Matter that I can observe. Passive Obedience, the divine Right of Kings, &c. rise and fall according to particular Occasions; but Laughter at Dissenters seems fixt for ever, if they should chance to last so long.