XIV. The Quakers are certainly the most serious and solemn People among us in Matters of Religion, and out-go the Dissenters of all other Kinds therein: But yet the Church has no regard to them on that Account, but takes Advantage from thence to ridicule them the more, and to call their Sincerity more in question. And I much doubt whether there was ever a Book written against them by the Divines of any Sect with perfect Decency, and that had not its extravagant Flouts, Scorn, Banter, and Irony, and that not only of the laughing, but of the cruel kind: Wherein they copy’d after the Jews of old, who while they prosecuted Christ to Death, and carried on their High-Church Tragedy against him, acted against him the comick Scenes [110] “of spitting in his Face, and buffeting him with the Palms of their Hands, saying, Prophesy unto us, thou Christ, who is he that smote thee;” and who, when they had nail’d him to the Cross, revil’d him with divers Taunts, in which the Chief Priests, Scribes, Elders, and even the Thieves, which were crucified with him, concurr’d. But yet for all this, these solemn Quakers themselves are not altogether averse to Irony and Ridicule, and use it when they can. Their Books abound in Stories to ridicule in their Turn the Priests, their great and bitter Adversaries: And they please themselves with throwing at the Priests the Centuries of Scandalous Ministers, and the Books of the Cobler of Glocester. They have also their Satirist and Banterer, Samuel Fisher; whose Works, tho all wrote in the drolling Style and Manner, they pride themselves in, and have collected into one great Volume in Folio; in which Quaker-Wit and Irony are set up against Church, Presbyterian, and Independent Wit and Irony, without the least Scruple of the lawfulness of such Arms. In a word, their Author acts the Part of a Jack-Pudding, Merry Andrew, or Buffoon, with all the seeming Right, Authority, and Privilege, of the Member of some Establish’d Church of abusing all the World but themselves. The Quakers have also encourag’d and publish’d a most arch Book of the famous Henry Stubbe, intitled, A Light shining out of Darkness, &c. Wherein all the other religious Parties among us are as handsomly and learnedly banter’d and ridicul’d, as the Quakers have been in any Book against them. And when they were attack’d by one Samuel Young, a whimsical Presbyterian-Buffoon-Divine, who call’d himself Trepidantium Malleus, and set up for an Imitator of Mr. Alsop, in several Pamphlets full of Stories, Repartees, and Ironies; in which Young, perhaps, thought himself as secure from a Return of the like kind, as a Ruffian or Thief may when he assaults Men: His Attacks were repell’d in a Book intitled “Trepidantium Malleus intrepidanter malleatus; or the West Country Wiseaker’s crack-brain’d Reprimand hammer’d about his own Numbscul. Being a Joco-satirical Return to a late Tale of a Tub, emitted by a reverend Non-con, at present residing not far from Bedlam,” said to be written by William Penn, who has therein made use of the carnal Weapons of Irony and Banter, and dress’d out the Presbyterian Priest in a Fool’s Coat, for a Spectacle to the Mob. It is also to be observ’d, that there are several Tracts in the two Volumes of William Penn’s Works lately publish’d, that for ingenious Banter and Irony, are much superior to the Priests his Adversaries; and that other Quaker Authors profess to write sometimes in a [111] drolling Style.
XV. The Jacobite Clergy have set up for great Droles upon all the true Friends of the Establishment. And I presume, the Body of our High Churchmen would not willingly deprive them of the Benefit of their Drollery.
The celebrated Mr. Collier [112] thus attacks Bishop Burnet, for his Essay on the Memory of Queen Mary. “This Doctor, you know, is a Man of mighty Latitude, and can say any thing to serve a Turn; whose Reverence resolves Cases of Conscience backwards and forwards, disputes pro and con, praises and dispraises by secular Measures; with whom Virtue and Vice, passive Obedience and Rebellion, Parricide and filial Duty, Treachery and Faithfulness, and all the Contradictions in Nature, are the best and worst things under the Sun, as they are for his Purpose, and according as the Wind sits: who equally and indifferently writes for and against all Men, the Gospel, and himself too, as the World goes: who can bestow a Panegyrick upon the seven deadly Sins, and (if there be occasion) can make an Invective against all the Commandments.——”
In relation to Dr. Payne’s Sermon on the Death of that Queen, he says[113], “that to go thro’ it is too great a Discipline for any Man, whose Palate hath ever relish’d any thing above three half-penny Poetry.” He adds, “Why, Sir, many Years ago I have heard some of it sung about the Streets in wretched and nauseous Doggrel. What think you of this? Page 6. I know not how to draw her Picture, ’tis so all over beauteous, without any Foil, any Shade, any Blemish; so perfect in every Feature, so accomplish’d in every Part, so adorn’d with every Perfection and every Grace. O rare, Sir! here’s Phillis and Chloris, and Gillian a Croydon.
“Sh’ hath every Feature, every Grace,
“So charming every part, &c.
“Tis no wonder he tells us, (p. 8.) of strewing her with the Flowers of withered and decay’d Poetry; for the Song out of which he hath transcrib’d his Sermon, is of very great age, and hath been sung at many a Whitsun-Ale, and many a Wedding (tho I believe never at a Funeral before) and therefore in all this time may well be decay’d and wither’d: In the mean time, if you were to draw the Picture of a great Princess, I fansy you would not make choice of Mopsa to sit to it. Alas! Sir, there was Cassandra and Cleopatra, and many a famed Romance more, which might have furnish’d him with handsome Characters, and yet he must needs be preaching and instructing his People out of Hey down derry, and the fair Maid of Kent. If he had intitled it, The White-Chapel Ballad, and got some body to set it to the Tune of Amaryllis, compos’d by W. P. Songster, the Character of the Author, the Title, and the Matter, would have very well agreed, and perhaps it might have passed at the Corners of the Streets; but to call it a Sermon, and by W. P. Doctor in Divinity, ’tis one of the lewdest things in the World.——”
Mr. Lesley attacks the Clergy, who pray’d “that God would give King James Victory over all his Enemies[114], when that was the thing they least wish’d; and confess’d, that they labour’d all they could against it,” saying, “good God! What Apprehensions, what Thought had those Men of their publick Prayers; bantering God Almighty, and mocking him to his Face, who heard their Words, and saw their Hearts? Is not Atheism a smaller Sin than this, since it is better to have no God, than so to set up one to laugh at him.”
Again he says, (p. 123.) “It is a severe Jest, that the common People have got up against the Clergy, that there was but one thing formerly which the Parliament could not do, that is, to make a Man a Woman: But now there is another, that is, to make an Oath which the Clergy will not take.”
The same Author attacks Bishop Burnet’s Speech upon the Bill against Occasional Conformity, by a Pamphlet intitled, The Bishop of Salisbury’s proper Defence from a Speech cry’d about the Streets in his Name, and said to have been spoken by him in the House of Lords upon the Bill against Occasional Conformity; which is one perpetual Irony on the Bishop, and gives the Author occasion to throw all manner of Satire and Abuse on the Bishop. The beginning of this Pamphlet, which is as follows, will let the Reader into the full Knowledge of the Design of the Irony, and the manner of Execution.
“The License of this Age and of the Press is so great, that no Rank or Quality of Men is free from the Insults of loose and extravagant Wits.