In requital of the scurrilous Character of an ingenious Blunderer, Dr. South says[128], “He must here return upon him the just Charge of an impious Blasphemer, and that upon more Accounts than one; telling him withal, that had he liv’d in the former Times of the Church, his Gown would have been stript off his Back for his detestable Blasphemies and Heresies, and some other Place found out for him to perch in than the Top of St. Paul’s, where at present he is placed like a true Church Weather-Cock, (as he is) notable for nothing so much, as standing high and turning round.”
Again, he says[129], “And so I take my leave of the Dean’s three distinct infinite Minds, Spirits, or Substances, that is to say, of his three Gods; and having done this, methinks I see him go whimpering away with his Finger in his Eye, and the Complaint of Micah in his Mouth, Ye have taken away my Gods which I made, and what have I more[130]? Tho he must confess, he cannot tell why he should be so fond of them, since he dares undertake that he will never be able to bring the Christian World either to believe in, or to worship a Trinity of Gods: Nor does he see what use they are likely to be of, even to himself, unless peradventure to swear by.”
Again, the Doctor says[131], “The Dean’s following Instruction to his Friend is certainly very diverting, in these words, where the Animadverter charges the Dean with Absurdities and Contradictions; turn to the Place and read it with its Context, and tell me what you cannot answer, and I will; to which he would have done well to have added, If I can. But the whole Passage is just as if he had said, Sir, if you find not Contradictions and Absurdities enough in my Book to satisfy your Curiosity that way, pray come to the Fountain-head, and consult me, and you shall be sure of a more plentiful Supply.”
Again, upon the Dean’s “Frequent reproaching the [132] Animadverter with the Character of a Wit, tho join’d with such ill-favour’d Epithets, as his witless Malice has thought fit to degrade it with, as that he is a spiteful Wit, a wrangling Wit, a satirical Wit, and the Witty, subtle, good-natur’d Animadverter, &c. the Dr. says, that tho there be but little Wit shewn in making such Charges; yet if Wit be a Reproach (be it of what sort it will) the Animadverter is too just to return this Reproach upon the Defender; and withal, understands himself, and what becomes him, too well, either to assume to himself, or so much as to admit the Character of a Wit, as at all due to him; especially since he knows that common Sense (a thing much short of Wit) is enough to enable him to deal with such an Adversary. Nevertheless, there are many in the World, who are both call’d and accounted Wits, and really are so; which (one would think) should derive something of Credit upon this Qualification, even in the Esteem of this Author himself, or at least rebate the Edge of his Invectives against it, considering that it might have pleas’d God to have made him a Wit too.”
XVII. As things now stand, it may easily be seen, that Prosecutions for Raillery and Irony would not be relish’d well by the Publick, and would probably turn to the Disreputation and Disgrace of the Prosecutor.
Archbishop Laud has always been much censur’d for his malicious Prosecution of Williams in the Star-Chamber; among whose Crimes I find the following laid to his Charge: [133] That he said all Flesh in England had corrupted their Ways; that he call’d a Book intitled, A Coal from the Altar (written by Dr. Heylin, for placing the Communion-Table at the East-end of the Church, and railing it in) a Pamphlet; that he scoffingly said, that he had heard of a Mother Church, but not of a Mother Chapel, meaning the King’s, to which all Churches in Ceremony ought to conform; that he wickedly jested on St. Martin’s Hood; that he said the People ought not to be lash’d by every body’s Whip; that he said, (citing a National Council for it) that the People are God’s and the King’s, and not the Priest’s People; and that he doth not allow Priests to jeer and make Invectives against the People. And I humbly conceive, that such Matters had much better be suffer’d to go on in the World, and take their Course, than that Courts of Judicature should be employ’d about them. A Sentence that imply’d some Clergymen corrupt, as well as some Laymen, of whom Laud would only allow to have it said, that they had corrupted their Ways; a Jest upon St. Martin’s Hood, which, according to Ecclesiastical History, cur’d sore Eyes; and a Ridicule upon a High-Church Book of Heylin’s, by calling it a Pamphlet, tho it was really a Pamphlet, as consisting of but seventy Pages in Quarto; seem less wicked and hurtful than disturbing, fining, and undoing Men about them. And the having some Concern for the People, that they should not be used as the Priest pleas’d; that the People belong to God and the King, and not to the Priest; and the not allowing the Priests to jeer and make Invectives against the People; seem all Errors fit to be born with.
Archbishop Laud was also thought guilty of an excessive Piece of Weakness in the Punishment of [134] Archibald the King’s Fool, by laying the Matter before the Privy-Council, and occasioning him to be expell’d the King’s House for a poor Jest upon himself; who, as he was a Man at the Head of the State, should have despis’d such a thing in any Body, much more in a Fool, and who should never have been hurried on to be the Instrument of any Motion against him, but have left it to others; who upon the least Intimation would have been glad to make their court to Laud, by sacrificing a Fool only to his Resentment.
XVIII. I could have entertain’d the Reader with a great Variety of Passages out of the Fathers of the Church, whose Writings are Magazines of Authority, and urg’d upon us upon all Occasions by Ecclesiasticks, and are particularly full of Burlesque and Ridicule on the Gods and Religion of the Pagans; in the use whereof they are much more unanimous, than in the Articles of their Creed. But that being a Subject too great and extensive for a Digression, I shall content my self with the few following Reflections; which will sufficiently evince, that the Taste of the Primitive Christians was like that of the rest of the World; that they could laugh and be as merry as the Greeks and other Pagans; and that they would take the Advantage of the Pagans weak Cause, to introduce Ridicule, which always bears hard upon Weakness and Folly, and must load them so as to prevent a Possibility of their being remov’d by another Ridicule.
These Fathers have transfused into their Writings all the Wit and Raillery of the antient Pagan Writers and Philosophers; who it is well known wrote a great deal to turn Paganism into Ridicule; most of which now exists no where but in the Works of the Fathers; all Books of that kind being lost, except Cicero’s Books of the Nature of Gods, and of Divination, and the Dialogues of Lucian; both which Authors have been of great use to the Fathers to set them up for Wits, Droles, and Satirists. For a Specimen how well these antient Pagans could drole, and how much beholden we are to the Fathers for recording their Drolleries, the most remarkable, I think, are some Fragments of a Book of Oenomaus concerning the Pagan Oracles, cited and preserv’d by [135] Eusebius; who has given us occasion to [136] regret the loss of this Work, as one of the most valuable Books written by the Antients on the Subject of Oracles, tho those Books were very numerous. And it is to be observ’d, that this Book and a great many, perhaps a [137] thousand more, were publish’d in Greece, where the Imposture of Oracles greatly prevail’d, and great Wealth flow’d in, not only to the Priests of the Oracular Temples, but to all the Inhabitants of Greece, and especially to those who lived in the Neighbourhood of the several Oracular Temples; who made a great Profit from the rich Travellers, that came from all Parts of the World to know their Fortunes. This shews the great Integrity and Fairness of the old Pagans; who would suffer not only their supposed standing Revelation to be call’d in question, but a Revelation that brought in as much Money, as the Chapels, Churches, and Shrines dedicated to the Blessed Virgin, or to any of the Saints, do in the Roman Church, without calling any Man to Account for the Liberties they took; who, as far as appears, were not expos’d [138] to any Danger thereby. It is also to be observ’d, that the merry [139] Epicureans were none of them ever prosecuted, and that Epicurus himself died quietly at Athens in a very great old Age.
But the Book, which the Fathers made the most use of, was that arch, fly, and drolling Performance, now lost, of Evemerus, which he intitled, A sacred History: wherein he gave an historical Account of the Birth, Country, Lives, Deaths, and Burials of the Gods. This Work was translated into Latin by that arch Wag Ennius, who himself has most ingeniously ridicul’d several Impostors or very grave Persons, in a remarkable Piece of Poetry, which I shall give my Reader in English.