"What did he mean about the kingdom?"
Mrs. Dennison's hand slid away and fell by her side. Harry caught her look of cold anger. He leapt to his feet.
"Maggie, I'm a fool," he cried. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Sit down here."
He made her sit, and half-crouched, half-knelt beside her.
"Maggie," he went on, "are you angry? Damn the joke! I don't want to know. Are you sorry I'm not coming?"
"What a baby you are, Harry! Oh, yes, awfully sorry."
He knew so well what he wanted to say: he wanted to tell her that she was everything to him, that to be out of her heart was death: that to feel her slipping away was a torture: he wanted to woo and win her over again—win her more truly than he had even in those triumphant days when she gave herself to him. He wanted to show her that he understood her—that he was not a fool—that he was man enough for her! Yes, that she need not turn to Ruston or anybody else. Oh, yes, he could understand her, really he could.
Not a word of it would come. He dared not begin: he feared that he would look—that she would find him—more silly still, if he began to say that sort of thing. She was smiling satirically now—indulgently but satirically, and the emphasis of her purposely childish "awfully" betrayed her estimation of his question. She did not understand the mood. She was accustomed to his admiration—worship would hardly be too strong a word. But the implied demand for a response to it seemed strange to her. Her air bore in upon him the utter difference between his thoughts of her and the way she thought about him. Always dimly felt, it had never pressed on him like this before.
"Really, I'm very sorry, dear," she said, just a little more seriously. "But it's only a fortnight. We're not separating for ever," and her smile broke out again.
With a queer feeling of hopelessness, he rose to his feet. No, he couldn't make her feel it. He had suffered in the same way over his speeches; he couldn't make people feel them either. She didn't understand. It was no use. He began to whistle again, staring out of the open window.