“What's it all about?” I asked.
“Nikolai Ignat'ich has given me a good idea!” the Count said, nodding to the justice of the peace. “He came to me.… We sat down to lunch, and I began complaining of being dull.…”
“And he complained to me of being dull,” Kalinin interrupted the Count. “Dullness, melancholy … this and that.… In a word, disillusionment. A sort of Onegin. ‘Your Excellency,’ I said, ‘you're yourself to blame.…’ ‘How so?’ ‘Quite simply.… In order not to be dull,’ I said, ‘accept some office … occupy yourself with the management of your estate.… Farming is excellent, wonderful.…’ He tells me he intends to occupy himself with farming, but still he is dull.… What fails him is, so to speak, the entertaining, the stimulating element. There is not the—how am I to express myself?—er—strong sensations.…”
“Well, and what idea did you give him?”
“I really suggested no idea, I only reproached his Excellency. ‘How is it your Excellency,’ I said, ‘that you, a young, cultivated, brilliant man, can live in such seclusion? Is it not a sin?’ I asked. ‘You go nowhere, you receive nobody, you are seen nowhere.… You live like an old man, or a hermit.… What would it cost you to arrange parties … so to speak, at homes?’ ”
“Why should he have at homes?” I asked.
“How can you ask? First, if his Excellency gave evening parties, he would become acquainted with society—study it, so to speak.… Secondly, society would have the honour of becoming more closely acquainted with one of the richest of our landowners.… There would be, so to speak, a mutual exchange of thoughts, conversation, gaiety.… And when one comes to think of it, how many cultivated young ladies and men we have among us!… What musical evenings, dances, picnics could be arranged! Only think! The reception rooms are huge, there are pavilions in the gardens, and so on, and so on. Nobody in the government ever dreamed of the private theatricals or the concerts that could be got up.… Yes, by God! Only imagine them! Now all this is lost, is buried in the earth; but then … one must only know how to! If I had his Excellency's means, I would show them how to live! And he says: ‘Dull’! By God! it's laughable to listen to it.… It makes one feel ashamed.…”
And Kalinin began to blink with his eyes, wishing to appear to be really ashamed.…
“All this is quite just,” the Count said, rising from his seat and thrusting his hands into his pockets. “I could give excellent evening parties.… Concerts, private theatricals … all this could be arranged charmingly. Besides, these parties would not only entertain society, they would have an educational influence too!… Don't you think so?”
“Well, yes,” I acquiesced. “As soon as our young ladies see your moustachioed physiognomy they will at once be penetrated by the spirit of civilization.…”