"And you yourself, to which category do you belong?"
The Professor really believed he was of the few who rule their actions entirely according to an aspiration towards a future life, but he would have been embarrassed had he been called upon to demonstrate that his earnest study of Raspail, his zeal in the preparation of sedative water and camphor cigarettes, his horror of dampness and of draughts, were proofs of slight attachment to the present life. However, he would not answer, but said that though he did not belong to any church, he nevertheless, believed firmly in God and the future life, and that he could not judge of his own conduct.
Meanwhile, Franco, watering the little garden, had discovered that a new verbena had blossomed, and setting down his watering-pot, had come to the door of the loggia and was calling to Maria, to whom he wished to point it out. Maria let him call, and demanded "Missipipì" again, whereupon the uncle put her down, and himself led her to her father.
"But, Professor," Luisa said, emerging by means of the living word from a course of occult ponderings, "do you not think one may believe in God and still be in doubt concerning the future life?"
Speaking thus she had dropped the tangled maze of net, and was looking the Professor straight in the face, with an expression of lively interest, and a manifest desire that he might answer yes. As Gilardoni did not speak she added—
"It seems to me some one might say: What obligation is God under to give us immortality? The immortality of the soul is an invention of human selfishness, which, after all, simply wishes to make God serve its own convenience. We want a reward for the good we do to others, and a punishment for the evil others do to us. Let us rather resign ourselves to complete death, which comes to every living thing, being just with ourselves and with others as long as we live, without looking for future reward, but simply because God wishes it, as he wishes every star to give light, and every tree to give shade. What do you think about it?"
"What can I say?" Gilardoni answered. "It seems to me a thought of great beauty! I cannot say: a great truth. Indeed I do not know. I have never thought about it, but it is very beautiful! I will say that Christianity has never had, has never even imagined a Saint so sublime as this some one! It is very beautiful, very beautiful!"
"And besides," Luisa continued after a short silence, "it might also be maintained that this future would not mean perfect happiness. Can there be happiness if we do not know the reasons of all things? If we may not explain all mysteries? And will this longing to know all things be satisfied in the future life? Will there not always remain one impenetrable mystery? Do they not teach us that we shall never understand God perfectly? Therefore, in our longing to know, shall we not end by suffering as at present, perhaps even more, because in a higher life that longing must become stronger? I can only see one way of arriving at a knowledge of everything, and that would be to become God——"
"Ah! You are a pantheist!" the Professor exclaimed, interrupting her.
"Hush!" said Luisa. "No, no, no, I am a Catholic Christian. I am only repeating what others might say."