“I was feeling most bitter sorrow at having drawn away from God, at having been deaf to His calls, an infinite gratitude for His patient kindness, and an infinite desire of Christ. In my mind I had just seen, really seen, shining clear and white against a dark background, those words of the Gospel, which long ago, in the time of goodness had been so dear to me: ‘Magister adest et vocat te.‘ Don Giuseppe Flores was officiating, and Mass was nearly over, when, as I prayed, my face buried in my hands, the vision came to me. It was instantaneous; like a flash!”
Benedetto’s chest heaved, so violent was this revulsion of memory.
“It may have been a delusion,” he said; “but it was not the work of malign spirits.”
“The evil spirits,” the Pontiff said, “do sometimes masquerade as angels of light. Perhaps, at that time, they were striving against the spirit of goodness which was within you. Did you take pride in this vision, later on?”
Benedetto bowed his head, and reflected for some time.
“Perhaps—on one occasion,” said he, “for one moment, at Santa Scolastica, when my master, in the Abbot’s name, offered me the habit of a lay-brother, that habit which was afterwards taken from me at Jenne. Then I thought for a moment that this unexpected offer confirmed the last part of my vision, and I felt a wave of satisfaction, deeming myself the object of divine favour. I immediately entreated God to pardon me, as I now entreat Your Holiness to pardon me.”
The Pontiff did not speak, but he raised his hand with wide-spread fingers, and lowered it again, in an act of absolution.
Then he began to examine the different papers lying on the little table, seeming to consult more than one attentively, as he turned them over. He laid them down, arranged them in a packet, which he pushed aside, and once more broke the silence:
“My son,” he said, “I must ask you other questions. You have mentioned Jenne. I was not even aware of the existence of this Jenne. It has been described to me. To tell the truth, I cannot understand why you ever went to Jenne.”
Benedetto smiled quietly, but did not attempt to justify himself, not wishing to interrupt the Pope, who continued: