“But surely you do not believe this,” she exclaimed. “You know that these are delusions—dreams. You would never wish me to believe such things. You would be the first to drive me away from you if I did.”
“No,” protested Carlino.
“Yes! And for the sake of producing something beautiful in literature you, also, take to nurturing these dreams, which are already enervating humanity to such a degree, already diverting people from the actualities of life! I do not like it at all. An unbeliever like you! One who is convinced, as I myself am convinced, that we are merely soap-bubbles which sparkle for a moment, and then return not into nothing, but into everything!”
“I, convinced?” answered Carlino, in astonishment. “I am not convinced of anything. I am a doubter. It is my system; you know that. If now some one were to tell me that the true religion was that of the Kaffirs, or that of the Redskins, I should say, It may well be! I do not know them, I see the falsity of those I do know, and for that reason I should certainly not wish you to become a believing Catholic. As to driving you from home—”
“Perhaps I had better leave before being driven away?”
So saying, Jeanne took Noemi’s arm. Carlino begged them to walk round the Lac d’Amour. Who knows, perhaps the little window in heaven would open. He wished it would. Noemi, recalling the conversation of a few hours before, expressed a doubt that Fomalhaut would be the star to appear at the window.
“To be sure,” said Carlino thoughtfully. “I had forgotten Fomalhaut. If it is not Fomalhaut now, it will be Fomalhaut then.”
But Noemi had other difficulties to suggest. What if no star appeared at the window, either large or small? For this difficulty Carlino promptly found a remedy. The star will be there. It may be minute, lost in an immense profundity, but it will be there. The girl does not see it, but the priest sees it with the long-sightedness of decrepitude. Later, through faith, the girl discerns it also.
“And so the poor girl,” said Jeanne bitterly, “relying on the faith of an old, dim-sighted priest, will see stars where there are none, will lose her common-sense, her youth, her life, her all. I suppose you will end by having her buried at the Béguinage?”
And she went on with Noemi without waiting for an answer.