Fil. Very right, Sir,—and now he talks of Rome,—Pray, Sir, give me your opinion of the Place—Are there not noble Buildings here, rare Statues, and admirable Fountains?
Tick. Your Buildings are pretty Buildings, but not comparable to our University Buildings; your Fountains, I confess, are, pretty Springs,— and your Statues reasonably well carv’d—but, Sir, they are so ancient they are of no value: then your Churches are the worst that ever I saw— that ever I saw.
Gal. How, Sir, the Churches, why I thought Rome had been famous throughout all Europe for fine Churches.
Fil. What think you of St. Peter’s Church, Sir? Is it not a glorious Structure?
Tick. St. Peter’s Church, Sir, you may as well call it St. Peter’s Hall, Sir; it has neither Pew, Pulpit, Desk, Steeple, nor Ring of Bells; and call you this a Church, Sir? No, Sir, I’ll say that for little England, and a fig for’t, for Churches, easy Pulpits, [Sir Sig. speaks, And sleeping Pews,] they are as well ordered as any Churches in Christendom: and finer Rings of Bells, Sir, I am sure were never heard.
Jul. Oh, Sir, there’s much in what you say.
Fil. But then, Sir, your rich Altars, and excellent Pictures of the greatest Masters of the World, your delicate Musick and Voices, make some amends for the other wants.
Tick. How, Sir! tell me of your rich Altars, your Guegaws and Trinkets, and Popish Fopperies, with a deal of Sing-song—when I say, give me, Sir, five hundred close Changes rung by a set of good Ringers, and I’ll not exchange ‘em for all the Anthems in Europe: and for the Pictures, Sir, they are Superstition, idolatrous, and flat Popery.
Fil. I’ll convince you of that Error, that persuades you harmless Pictures are idolatrous.
Tick. How, Sir, how, Sir, convince me! talk to me of being convinc’d, and that in favour of Popery! No, Sir, by your favour I shall not be convinc’d: convinc’d, quoth a!—no, Sir, fare you well, an you be for convincing: come away, Sir Signal, fare you well, Sir, fare you well:— convinc’d! [Goes out.