“To my father, Mr. Genuine Bacon-Fat, appointed by me in my last will I give and bequeath: thirty measures of acorns; and to my mother, Mrs. Old-Timer Sow, appointed by me in my last will, I give and bequeath: forty measures of Spartan wheat; and to my sister, Cry-Baby, appointed by me in my last will, whose wedding, alas! I cannot attend, I give and bequeath: thirty measures of barley; and of my nobler parts and property I give and bequeath, to the cobbler: my bristles; to the brawlers, my jaw-bones; to the deaf, my ears; to the shyster lawyers, my tongue; to the cow-herds, my intestines; to the sausage makers, my thighs; to the ladies, my tenderloins; to the boys, my bladder; to the girls, my little pig’s tail; to the dancers, my muscles; to the runners and hunters, my knuckles; to the hired man, my hoofs; and to the cook—though not to be named—I give and bequeath and transmit my belly and appendage which I have dragged with me from the rotten oak bottoms to the pig’s sty, for him to tie around his neck and to hang himself with.
“I wish to erect a monument to myself, inscribed with golden letters: ‘M. Grunter Corocotta Porker lived nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine years, and had he lived another half year, a thousand years would have been nearly completed.’
“I ask of you who love me best, you who live like me, I ask you: will not my name remain to be eulogized in all eternity? if you only will prepare my body properly and flavor it well with good condiments, nuts, pepper and honey!
“My master and my relatives, all of you who have witnessed this execution of my last will and testament, you are requested to sign.
“(Signed) Hard Sausage
Match Maker
Fat Bacon
Bacon Rind
Celsinus
Meat Ball
Sprout Cabbage.”
Thus far the story by Petrus Lambecius. The fifth of the signatories of the Porker’s Testament is Celsinus; and since the other names are fictitious it is quite possible that Lambecius had a special purpose in pointing out the man for whom the dish, Porcellus Celsinianus,—Suckling Pig à la Celsinus—was named.
Celsinus was counsellor for Aurelianus, the emperor.
[377] ROAST PIG PORCELLUM ASSUM
CRUSH PEPPER, RUE, SATURY, ONIONS, HARD YOLKS OF EGG, BROTH, WINE, OIL, SPICES; BOIL THESE INGREDIENTS, POUR OVER THE [roast] PIG IN THE SAUCE PAN AND SERVE.