“My nurse said as that was the way I hated La Grise, she would give it away the very next day; then I cried so much and screamed so loud that Mademoiselle de Choiseul, Mesdemoiselles de Conflans, my maid, and their maids ran into the room, not knowing what could have happened. I told them I was the most unhappy person in the world, that my nurse wanted to give away La Grise, that I could not live without it, that I would have La Grise, it must be given me at once, and I would beg its pardon.
“I had no rest till La Grise was put on my bed; I took it in my arms, I embraced it, I kissed its paws, and promised it I would never do so again. Then my nurse said she consented to keep La Grise, but that I should have nothing but dry bread for breakfast next day. I was only too happy to be let off so easily; they all went back to their rooms and I slept quietly the remainder of the night.”
Soon after, Hélène was brought to the Confessional for the first time. Though only eight years old, she followed the religious instructions for some days, and Dom Thémines, the pupils’ director, enjoined on her a religious retreat to meditate on obedience; a very good subject for a mischievous child. After the retreat she confessed, but unfortunately has left us no record of her confession; she came back rather tired, but satisfied with her day’s work, and thinking herself quite a grown up person. She continues her narrative with charming ingenuousness.
“In the evening Sister Bichon came to see my nurse, and while Mademoiselle Gioul, my maid, was undressing me, Sister Bichon begged me to remember her in my prayers (for although I said them with the others in the schoolroom, I was made to repeat them before getting into bed). I said to Sister Bichon: ‘What do you wish me to ask God Almighty for you?’ She replied: ‘Pray to God that He may make my soul as pure as yours is at this moment.’ I therefore said out loud, at the end of my prayer: ‘My God, grant Sister Bichon that her soul may be as white as mine ought to be at my age if I had profited by the good teaching I have received.’ My nurse was delighted at the manner in which I had arranged my prayer, and kissed me, as did also Sister Bichon, Mademoiselle Gioul, and mie Claudine. When I was in bed I asked if it was a sin to pray for La Grise. My nurse and Sister Bichon replied Yes, and that I must not speak to God about La Grise.
“Then, as I was not sleepy, Sister Bichon came to my bedside, and told me that if I died that night, I should go immediately into paradise; then I asked her what one saw in paradise. She replied: ‘You must imagine, my little darling, that paradise is a large room all made of diamonds and rubies and emeralds and other precious stones. God Almighty sits on a throne, Jesus Christ is on His right hand, and the Blessed Virgin on His left; the Holy Ghost is perched on His shoulder, and all the saints pass and repass before Him.’ While she was telling me this I fell asleep.”
There is always a certain truth and simplicity about the little Princess’s narrative which lend it a great charm; she praises or blames herself with entire good faith, and her character becomes apparent at the end of a few pages. The education in common, and the intelligent management of Madame de Rochechouart, had an excellent influence on this spoilt and wayward child, accustomed to see everything give way before her. But she had to suffer at the beginning, and she relates her first experiences in a most comical manner.
“I had at that time,” she says, “a terrible aversion for good handwriting. Monsieur Charme was very much displeased with me, and set me back to write nothing but O’s, which bored me very much, and at the same time made the whole class laugh at me: they said I should never be able to sign my own name. It was not that I absolutely hated writing; on the contrary, I spent the whole day writing my Memoirs, as was the fashion amongst the elder young ladies at that time, and we, the younger class, chose to do the same. I therefore scribbled all day long, but it was such a scrawl that only I could read it, and, far from benefiting me, it spoilt my hand. Mademoiselle de Choiseul often wrote for me, but, as they perceived it was not my writing, Monsieur Charme complained of me to Mother Quatre Temps. She asked me: ‘Mademoiselle, is it you who have written this?’ I answered: ‘Yes, Madame, in truth it is I.’ She said: ‘If it is you, write out at once before me a similar page.’ Then I was very much embarrassed, I should have liked to have got into a mouse-hole. What I wrote worst were the M’s and N’s, and my copy was ‘Massinissa, roi de Numidie.’ As every one knows, there are a great many tops and tails in that name; and there they were, all awry, one going one way, the other another; in short, it was easy to see that I was incapable of making such a copy. Then Mother Quatre Temps fastened donkey’s ears on to me, and because I had told falsehoods hung a red tongue, together with my copy, on my back. I began saying that I wrote so badly because the table had been shaken; I was told that I slandered, and the black tongue was added. The worst of it was that Madame de Rochechouart, who was rather pleased with me, and was beginning to show me much kindness, had told me at the morning class to go to her cell that evening at six. But now the hour was approaching, how could I make my appearance in the state I was in? I would sooner have died. Was I presentable with donkey’s ears, two tongues, and a tattered scrawl on my back? So when Mother Quatre Temps told me to go to the Maîtresse Générale, I would not leave my place, and I cried enough to make my eyes start out of my head. Mademoiselle de Choiseul was also crying, and all my class pitied me. When Mother Quatre Temps saw I would not obey her, she added into the bargain the order of ignominy, and sent for two lay sisters, Sister Eloi and Sister Bichon, who took me by the arms, dragged me from my stall, and conducted me to the door of Madame de Rochechouart’s cell. When I arrived there I was so wretched that I felt my life was not worth a pin. Directly I entered Madame de Rochechouart called out and said: ‘Eh, my heavens, what has happened to you? you look like a merryandrew; what can you have done to deserve being deprived of your human figure?’ Then I threw myself at her feet, and told her my faults. I saw she had the greatest difficulty in the world to keep herself from laughing; however, she said in a severe manner: ‘Your faults are very great, and your punishment is not great enough.’ Then she called in the two sisters who were at the door, and she said: ‘I order Mademoiselle to be reconducted to the schoolroom, and to go without dessert for eight days; and tell the head-mistress of the blue class to come and speak to me.’ Madame de Rochechouart, moreover, asked if I had met any one on my way to her, and I said I had met the doctor Monsieur Bordeu, and Madame la Duchesse de Chatillon, who had come to see one of her daughters who was sick. I was brought back to the classroom, but I heard, shortly after, some of the red class young ladies say that Madame de Rochechouart had said it was stupid to make such a guy of me, and that she had soundly rated Mother Quatre Temps, requesting her to punish her scholars without disfiguring them; that a few days before she had entered the schoolroom and thought she must be looking at Egyptian idols, on seeing five or six of us with asses ears and three tongues, and as the Convent was constantly full of strangers, it might throw a ridicule on the education of the pupils. From that time forth these punishments were abolished, and instead we were made to go on our knees in the middle of the choir, we were deprived of dessert, given dry bread at breakfast and collation, or made to copy out the Privilège du Roi[27] during play-time, which was very tedious.”
Hélène, however, was not at the end of her tribulations, and her quick temper naturally brought her into a few more.
“About that time I experienced from all the class a bodily punishment which I resolved long to remember. I was in the habit of repeating to Madame de Sainte Euphrasie everything that took place in the class, and as I saw it met with success, I listened to all the pupils said, so as to repeat it to her, so much so that all the classes had taken a dislike to me.
“I was at that time nine years of age. I had a quarrel with Mademoiselle de Nagu; she had taken from my drawer the short Lives of the Saints, with pictures in it, and was reading it. As I only allowed my most intimate friends to rummage in my drawer, I went to her and told her to return me my book. She said: ‘This book amuses me, you do not want to read it just now, I will return it when I have finished it.’ I was not satisfied with this answer, and tried to snatch it away from her; but, as she was stronger than I, she gave me a sound box in the ear; then, instead of giving her one in return, I began to cry, and went and complained to Madame de Saint Pierre, head-mistress of the white class, as Nagu belonged to that class. The mistress, seeing me in tears, and my cheek red, called Mademoiselle de Nagu, desired her to return me my book, to ask my pardon, and condemned her to go without dessert at supper. Every one pitied Nagu, the more so that I was not liked. Every one called me tell-tale, and hummed in my ears, ‘Tell-tale-tit, go and tell our cat to keep a place for you the day that you die.’