“I therefore pretended to read, and watched her; she wrote with great agitation, rubbed her forehead, sighed, and looked around her with a fixed and absent look, as if her thoughts were a hundred leagues away.
“She often wrote like that for three consecutive hours; at the slightest sound she would give a start, which showed how absorbed she was, and seemed in a way almost angry at having been disturbed. On that day I so distinctly saw tears in her eyes that I could not help thinking that perhaps she was not happy. While pondering, I looked at her; she had a paper before her, her pen in hand, her mouth half open, her eyes looking fixedly before her, while her tears were flowing. I was so deeply affected that tears gathered in my eyes, and I was unable to suppress a deep sigh; this aroused Madame de Rochechouart, who raised her eyes, and seeing me in tears immediately concluded I had noticed the state of anxiety she was in. She held out her hand to me, in a most expressive and touching manner, saying, ‘Dear heart, what is the matter?’ I kissed her hand and burst into tears; she questioned me again, and I confessed that the extreme agitation I had seen her in had led me to suppose that she was harbouring some sorrow, and that this was the cause of my being so affected. Then she folded me in her arms, and remained silent for a time, as though reflecting on what she would say. Then she said to me: ‘I was born with a very vivid imagination, and in order to employ it, I hurriedly set down on paper all that it conceives. As among these fancies many are sad and melancholy, they often affect me keenly enough to make me shed tears. Loneliness and a life of contemplation keep up in me this propensity to give way to imagination.’ The supper bell rang while we were still talking. We parted with regret, and since then Madame de Rochechouart’s tenderness towards me increased twofold, and nothing could equal the tender interest I felt for her in return.”
FOOTNOTES:
[52] The apartments belonging to the Abbess.
[53] An écu was five shillings.
[54] Marie-Madeleine de Chabrillan. She was first a nun at the Abbaye-de-Chelles, then Abbess of the Parc-aux-Dames, and lastly Abbess of the Royal Abbaye of Notre-Dame-aux-Bois, where she succeeded Madame de Richelieu, sister of the famous Marshal.
[55] Guyonne de Montmorency Laval. She married the Duc de Chevreuse in 1765, and became Duchesse de Luynes at the death of her father-in-law in 1774. Their mansion was situated in the Rue Saint Dominique. She was appointed lady-of-honour to the Queen Marie-Antoinette in 1775.
[56] The Marquise de la Roche Aymon was appointed in 1776 lady-in-waiting to the Queen. Her husband was major-general and nephew of Cardinal de la Roche Aymon, first almoner to the King Louis XV., and Archbishop of Rheims.
[57] Mademoiselle d’Aumont, daughter of the Duc d’Aumont, first equerry to the King. The hôtel d’Aumont was in the Rue de Jouy. The ceilings, painted by Lebrun, and the staircase, and buildings looking on the gardens, were greatly admired.
[58] Tax-gatherer, who for a certain sum leased out from Government the collection of the taxes.