She took the breakfast tray and went out of the room, and the old lady and gentleman brightened up a good deal as Edward sat down and began to talk to them.
"We do so 'ate these days in bed," said Mrs. Slabb pathetically, "and they won't even let us 'ave no books to read, because Augusta likes to arrange them all in colours on the shelves downstairs, and she won't 'ave 'em took out. It do seem rather 'ard, don't it?"
When I heard of this "turning-out" process taking place regularly twice a week—once for the downstairs rooms and once for the upstairs—and that each floor took one whole day, and sometimes more, I thought it was rather hard. Mr. and Mrs. Slabb kept four maids, all demons for cleanliness and order. Sunday was the only day on which they could count, with certainty, on not being kept in bed or confined to one room downstairs; and even then they were only allowed to sit on certain chairs, and might not amuse themselves in any way, for the four maids were strict Sabbatarians.
But in spite of their much-hampered life neither Mr. nor Mrs. Slabb received with any favour Edward's invitation to them to dismiss the whole of their household and join the revolt of the masters and mistresses. Their faces grew longer and longer as he described the battle already joined.
"They are very good to us on the 'ole," said Mrs. Slabb. "We are more like friends than mistress and servants—not like some. Sometimes they even asks us to sit with them in the kitchen on Sunday evenings and sing 'ymns. I shouldn't like to do nothink to offend them. And Augusta's 'ad trouble, too. Her 'usband took and run off with 'is master's daughter, when they was butler and cook together in a big 'ouse. No, Mr. Perry, I shouldn't like to seem ungrateful to them. And, after all, it is nice to 'ave your 'ouse lookin' as clean as a new pin, always, ain't it? It's worth givin' up somethink for."
"P'raps they'll let us get up for a little this afternoon and 'ave a walk in the garden," said Mr. Slabb hopefully. "The carpets was beat only las' week, and they can't take so long. We'd be careful not to get in the way."
As Edward said afterwards, what could you do with people like that? They hugged their chains.
In one of the houses we visited we came across a man who had suffered a great disappointment. He had seen an advertisement of somebody's self-digesting food, and had ordered in a large supply of it. But his idea that it would digest itself if you left it alone long enough had turned out to be erroneous, and his servants were forcing him to go through the preliminary process of swallowing it.
He joined Edward's league.