Upsidonia

by Archibald Marshall

This he also admitted. I treated him with somewhat exaggerated respect, and ended up by saying that I acknowledged it was a foolish prank to play on a man of his eminence, and that, whatever the result of the charge, I begged to apologise for it. This softened him a little, though not much, but when the magistrate and his clerk had conferred with him in whispers, he seemed to give way, and the magistrate then turned to me and addressed me thus:

"John Howard, although you have refused to give any information about yourself, it is evident from your general appearance that you are a young man of good if not exalted station. But you must not go away with the impression that there is one law for the poor and another for the rich here. It is not on account of your appearance of poverty that I shall deal leniently with you. I believe that you have committed this gross offence against a distinguished man out of mere youthful folly and bravado, and you may consider yourself fortunate that I have decided not to send you to prison for it. You have been confined for the night in surroundings that have probably caused you considerable distress, and I have taken that into account. I shall fine you ten pounds, with the option of a month's imprisonment, and let this be a lesson to you to leave off playing practical jokes that are likely to bring you within the reach of the law. Next case."

I left the dock in some perturbation, for I had not got ten pounds on me. But I was immediately led to the clerk's table, and he said in a business-like way: "Sign that, please," and handed me a little pile of sovereigns and a form of receipt.

I signed the receipt and put the money into my pocket, and was now free. Mr. Perry and his son joined me, and wringing me warmly by the hand led me out into the open air. They were both dressed in shabby suits, I suppose out of respect to the court, and, although the young man did not look any the worse, I thought that his father seemed more of an oily old humbug than before.

But there seemed to be no doubt about the reality of his gratitude to me, and his son was equally cordial. They both pressed me to come at once to their house, and to stay as long as I could.

"If you can put up with our way of living," said Mr. Perry, "which is the reverse of simple, we shall be very pleased indeed to have you so long as you care to stay. Or, if you are afraid of luxury, as so many young men are nowadays, we could recommend you to an hotel where you could be as uncomfortable as you please, and we will still do all we can to help you in your social studies, which, I am glad to hear from my son, you are anxious to pursue."

"If you will be good enough to put me up," I said, "nothing could suit me better; and as for luxury, I assure you I shan't grumble at anything. As I told your son, I should like to pass as a rich man as long as I stay here."

This reply pleased Mr. Perry, and he proposed that we should go to his house at once. "I shall take a tram," he said; "but I dare say you and Edward would prefer to walk."

At this point Lord Potter came out of the police court. Two young men in smart clothes, with silk hats and patent leather boots, were standing on the steps smoking cigarettes, and did not notice him. He stopped at the top of the steps, and said in a tone of contempt: "Will you kindly get out of my way?"