When we rose from table to take a turn in the garden, I offered my arm to Cristina. I had a lively desire to talk with her, to sound her soul, which seemed to me to be disturbed. Before seeking refuge in another port, where the fate that was controlling me was drawing me, I ought to know that it was the will of God; but never, never could I forget that dream of love. This was the truth. Although I had made heroic efforts to drive it away, thinking of other scenes, other joys, other duties, it returned persistently to charm my nights and to disturb my conscience.
I had already taken her hand upon my arm when Castell, coming up to us and making a little bow, said:
"Have we not arranged that this evening I was to be your escort?" At the same time he cast upon her a particular look; it was threatening, and did not soften the cold smile that played about his lips.
Cristina responded with a timid glance and hastened to release my arm from her own, saying in an altered voice:
"Thank you, Captain Ribot. Enrique had invited me before——"
And they departed down the stairway. From above, when the light of the vestibule fell upon their faces, I could see that Castell was talking to her with an angry gesture, as if he were making recriminations, and that she was excusing herself with the greatest humility.
Oh, God! the veil that had hid the truth from me was swiftly torn away. That man must even now be her lover. All the blood in my veins rushed to my heart. I felt giddy and was obliged to grasp the railing so as not to fall.
CHAPTER XII.
I CAN swear that no anger entered into the agitation that I experienced. My pride did not resent her preference. I only felt a mortal sadness as if the last illusion left to me in life had flown away and escaped. And more, the deep love wherewith she inspired me was not quenched or lessened. The respect and idolatry of my sentiment were weakened, it is true, but its tenderness was at the same time increased. The goddess had fallen from her pedestal and was transformed into a woman. Losing in majesty, she had gained in charm.
During the days following, I observed that the humble expression of her face that had so much surprised me grew more marked. From this I judged that she acknowledged her fault and begged my pardon. Instead of showing myself troubled, I did everything possible to appear more respectful and cordial than before. She recognized this, and constantly gave me proofs of her affectionate friendship. Her heart was noble; if she had fallen in her own sight, it was owing to fatal circumstance, and not to her vicious inclination. Such were then my sentiments.