The Title: A Comedy in Three Acts

by Arnold Bennett

MRS. CULVER ( firmly ). John, where are you going?

JOHN. Anywhere.

MRS. CULVER. Have you still got that letter to Lord Woking in which your father accepts the title?

JOHN. Yes.

MRS. CULVER. Come here. Let me see it. ( She inspects the envelope of the letter and returns it to John.) Yes, that's right. Now listen to me. Get a taxi at once and drive to Lord Woking's, and insist on seeing Lord Woking, and give him that letter with your own hand. Do you understand? ( Exit Hildegarde, L .) The stamp will be wasted, but never mind. Fly!

JOHN. It's a damned shame. (Mrs. Culver smiles calmly .)

CULVER ( shaking John's flaccid hand ). So it is. But let us remember, my boy, that you and I are—are doing our bit. ( Pushes him violently towards the door .) Get along. ( Exit John, back .)

TRANTO ( looking round ). Where's Hildegarde?

MRS. CULVER. She went in there.

TRANTO. I must just speak to her.