HILDEGARDE. The Countess of Blackfriars—you said.

TRANTO. Yes. Auntie Joe's. I've just sent her a telephone message to say I'm ill and confined to the house.

HILDEGARDE. Which house?

TRANTO. I didn't specify any particular house.

HILDEGARDE. And are you ill?

TRANTO. I am not.... To get back to the realm of fact, when I read Sampson Straight's article about the degradation of honours this afternoon—

HILDEGARDE. Didn't you read it before you published it?

TRANTO. No. I had to rush off and confront the Medical Board at 9 a.m. I felt certain the article would be all right.

HILDEGARDE. And it wasn't all right.

TRANTO ( positively ). Perfectly all right.