STRAIGHT. The explanation is simplicity itself. ( A sudden impulse .) Nothing but that. Put yourselves in my place. I come to London. I hear a vast deal of chatter about some articles in a paper called The Echo by some one calling himself 'Sampson Straight.' I also hear that nobody in London knows who Sampson Straight is. As I happen to be Sampson Straight, and as I have need of all possible personal prestige for the success of my purely patriotic mission, it occurs to me—in a flash!—to assert that I am the author of the famous articles.... Well, what more natural?
CULVER. What indeed?
STRAIGHT ( to Tranto). And may I say that I'm the only genuine Sampson Straight in the United Kingdom, and that in my opinion it was a gross impertinence on the part of your contributor to steal my name? Why did you let him do it?
TRANTO ( beginning reflectively ). Now I hit on that name—not my contributor. It was when I was down in Cornwall. I caught sight of it in an old yellow newspaper in an old yellow hotel, and it struck me at once what a fine signature it would make at the bottom of a slashing article. By the way, have you ever been in the dock?
TRANTO. I only ask because I seem to remember I saw your splendid name in a report of the local Assizes.
STRAIGHT. Assizes?
TRANTO. A, double s ( pause ) i-z-e-s.
STRAIGHT. I can afford to be perfectly open. I was—at one period of my career—in prison, but for a quite respectable crime. Bigamy—with extenuating circumstances.
MRS. CULVER ( greatly upset ). Dear, dear!