MARINE SPIDER CRIPPLED.
Four of Her Legs Broken En Route to South Carolina.
Charleston, S. C., Aug. 20, 1999.—The marine spider, Nautilus, arrived here in bad shape from Brazil to-day, one of her fore legs having been broken. The Nautilus is one of the fleet of the South American Importing and Exporting Company, and was built at Charleston two years ago. The boats in this fleet were built on the principle of an insect, it being an established fact that a body can be carried over water much more rapidly than through it. The spiders were fashioned after the manner of a centipede, the feet being bell shaped and connected with a superstructural deck by ankle-jointed pipes, through which, when necessary, a pressure of air could be forced down upon the enclosed surface of the water. The locomotion is like that of a pacing horse and great speed can be maintained. The marine spider had for its inventive source a treatise on its possibilities written by John Jacob Astor as early as 1894.
AMERICOMANIACS.
They Cause Much Distress in the Loyal British Heart.
London, Aug. 20, 1899.—Americomania is to far prevalent in this city that the deepest resentment is aroused in every loyal British heart. Since the widespread abolishment of titles and the very general purchase of historic castles and country seats by wealthy Americans, the foreign element has been a serious menace to English society, which has been for fifty years controlled by the descendants of United States heiresses who married titles.
London swells are adopting the early western custom of wearing their trousers in their boots as a distinctive touch to their morning costumes and the sombrero is also being sold by leading hatters. Young debutantes are cultivating the unaffected manners of American girls, and many ambitious mothers are going so far as to send their daughters to Manhattan, Denver and San Francisco boarding schools.
MESSAGE FROM MARS.
Alarm Lest the Americans Shall Gain a Foothold There.
Galveston, Texas. Dec. 21.—The meteoric message which has been expected from the planet Mars for several days, and which the astronomers located on Pikes Peak, Colorado, left Mars over two years ago, dropped in the bay off here to-day, striking the water with a sizzling sound. It was still quite hot when picked up and the metallic covering had to be broken up with an oceanic pile driver. The message was written on asbestos paper in non-fading ink, and a crude translation of it conveys the information that the high ruler of the combined continents of Mars died of gastronomic fright two years ago last November while watching an American Thanksgiving day celebration. He predicted before his death, that if the Americans ever got a foothold on this planet, they would ruin the incomparable digestion of every resident by the introduction of cranberry sauce, mince pie and plum pudding.