Looking forward

by Arthur Bird

Kissing prohibited in the twentieth century. The curbing of the tongue. The National punishment for wife beaters. The passing of the tramp. New methods of salutation. Vegetarians remain true to principle. Horse flesh as an article of food. Schools for training housekeepers. American hotels in 1999 still lead the world.

Kissing as a fine art was on the wane in the twentieth century. In the nineteenth century the Japanese had long banished that custom as one dangerous to health and as a medium for communicating infectious diseases. In that remarkable and highly progressive country no kisses, or salutation with the lips, are exchanged between husband and wife, parent and son, brother and sister.

The custom, without doubt, is an unwholesome one, yet one in vogue for so Kissing Strictly Prohibited. many centuries, even in the days of the Romans, that it became a second nature. In the nineteenth century one might as well attempt to scale Mt. Rainier with a ladder as to endeavor to convince the mother of a new born babe that kissing is a dangerous habit. The lover in his rapturous mode expresses in a kiss the acme of his devotion. It seems cruel to destroy idols before whom we have bowed down and offered incense during a whole lifetime. Custom, tradition and education are hard task-masters. They cling to us through life like limpets to a rock.

Kissing, however, never came under ban of the law in the twentieth century, but the practice was discontinued on purely hygienic grounds. The mode of salutation in 1999 that was regarded as being the most tender expression of love, consisted of a gentle patting of the cheek. The advanced reason of the age broke the barriers of custom in this case; lips were seldom allowed to touch lips. A pressure of the hand became ample compensation for the most ardent lovers, while the matchless language of the eyes left no room for doubt in a lover’s breast that his love was reciprocated.

In the twentieth century men began to acknowledge the absolute folly of the The Cursing Habit. cursing habit. If any excuse could ever be offered in palliation of this vicious habit it might be made in the case of a man whose mind was disturbed by angry passions. In an outburst of passion a slight pretext might be offered for the vigorous use of unwritten Anglo-Saxon. But the twentieth century very properly turned its face against the practice of verbal profanation. This reprehensible habit was made punishable, in every instance, by a heavy fine and imprisonment.

In the nineteenth century laws against profanity already existed, but they were a dead-letter on all of our statute books. In those days men might quarrel in public or in private; they might hurl epithets at one another by the hour or by the day, so long as neither one of the belligerents raised a hand against the other, society and law took no cognizance of the unhappy occurrence. Men might exchange the vilest expressions and fill the air with their sulphurous maledictions; they might insult the public ear with a riot of profanation, no breach of the peace occurred in the eye of the law until blows were given or exchanged.

In the twentieth century it was finally discovered that the tongue was often a more offensive disturber of the peace than a blow of the fist. It was then recognized that vile expressions, particularly those which attacked innocent members of a family, were more cruel and cutting than blows delivered by hand or weapon. Society and law in the twentieth century determined to uproot and severely punish the offending of a vile tongue.

Wife-beaters in 1999 were speedily brought to time. These degraded specimens of humanity finally received their just dues on conviction. The lash which the State of Delaware wields to such excellent advantage in many criminal cases was generally regarded as inadequate punishment for such brutes. It was felt that wife-beaters should be made conspicuous examples before the community.

Every town in the Americas, from Alaska to Patagonia, was provided with a large Punishment of Wife Beaters. derrick, erected upon a solid stone foundation on the edge of some body of water. On the day and hour appointed for the execution of the sentence, the culprit was taken from the town jail or lock-up by the sheriff of the county. A large concourse of citizens usually gathered in the locality of the derrick to witness the “water cure.” Arriving there, the sheriff adjusted two belts around the prisoner, one under his arms and the A First-class Water Cure. other about his loins. The belts were connected by a broad strap over the back, in the center of which was firmly fastened a large hook. This hook was fastened to the chain or rope of the derrick. Upon a given signal the prisoner was hoisted to the top of the arm of the derrick, which was then swung over the sheet of water. The windlass of the derrick was let loose and the prisoner plunged, usually a distance of twenty feet, into the water. He was then hoisted up again, and the dose repeated three more times. When the punishment was over the prisoner was properly cared for by the sheriff and his possé. He was conveyed in some vehicle back to the jail, where his ducking suit was removed. Attendants were on hand, who rubbed him dry and helped him put on his own clothes. He was then given refreshment and a cup of strong coffee and admonished to go forth and do better.