You can feed the baby for the cost of one or two cocktails daily.
Your health will improve if you give up the cocktails, and watch the effect of their substitute, milk, on the little child.
When you get up in the morning, if the hour is early, you will find the old woman giving the baby its bath. The poor, little thin thing will wriggle joyously in the warm water, once it gets used to the daily bathing. Its head will be soaped first, then sponged. It will be dried with a warm towel, and you can hit the tin bathtub with your keys to keep it from crying while its clothes are put on.
Hold the baby for a while each morning, letting its head rest on your shoulder that its neck may not be strained. (This will give the nurse a chance to prepare the bottle that follows the bath.)
It will get used to you after a few mornings. The first time it shows affection for you, you will be the proudest man in your office.
If asked to take a cocktail you will say:
"No, thank you. My cocktail money is spent to make a thin baby fat."
If others boast of their friends, you will know that YOU have a friend whom money cannot influence, one skinny little admirer at home whose affection is genuine.
If a man shows delight in the love of his dog, you will say to yourself:
"Any dog will like any man. But there are few that could get a baby to like them in six days as that thin Jimmy likes me."