"I see you plead guilty," says the judge.
"Shure," she answers.
"Well," says the magistrate, "as she pleads guilty, I will not detain you further. Your cook, eh? Well, well, it's too bad! Why will they do such things? I am glad you did not lose the teapot. That is all."
Maria is led away, while Mr. Appleboy descends from the platform, to be followed by some other righteously indignant complainant.
The whole transaction has occupied less than a minute and a half. In order to accomplish it, Mr. Appleboy has remained in court from half-past eight in the morning until a quarter to twelve.
"Thank goodness," he says to himself, "it is all over now. The rest will be plain sailing." Ah, how little do the Appleboys know of the administration of criminal justice! Pat accompanies him to his carriage, expressing regret that the matter could not have been disposed of more speedily. Appleboy is not ungenerous. He always tips the colored porter in the sleeping-car most liberally, but although it is obvious, possibly, that Pat would like a drink and some cigars, Appleboy, believing that by accommodating him he would be committing a felony or, at least, a misdemeanor, coldly bids him good-afternoon, and Patrick, crestfallen, returns to the precinct house.
Meanwhile the magistrate fixes bail for Maria at five hundred dollars, and the teapot is tagged and returned to the custody of the sergeant at the station. Tired out, but feeling that "a duty well performed is a rainbow to the heart," Mr. Appleboy seeks the bosom of his family.
DELAY THE SECOND
Cookless, the Appleboys struggle through the following week. It is in the height of the season and cooks are scarce; they are also ill-tempered; and in five days Mrs. Appleboy has tried and dismissed three. The family, dinnerless, nightly seek a neighboring restaurant, and endeavor to console themselves with the theatre. But after the fourth night this bores them. They begin to long for Maria's omelets and Irish stew. After fourteen years one gets used to a particular kind of pudding.
"I almost wish," said Appleboy to his wife when they are alone, "that I had not done anything about Maria, but just let her come back and cook for us. I don't think she would have tried to steal the teapot a second time."