And so, like some weft of opalescent mist, the sweet mirage melted in the noonday. What I then saw I will leave to be told hereafter; but it was not what I desired nor what I expected.
What, then, remains of the time of plenty? Not, I am thankful to say, either vanity or vexation of spirit. It was what remains to the ruffled bird, as he shivers in the leafless tree, in which he had sung so loud in the high summer, embowered in greenness and rustling leafage. No sense of the hollowness or sadness of life; but rather a quickened knowledge of its delight and its intensity. It is the same feeling that one has when one speeds swiftly in a train near to some place where one lived long ago, and sees glimpses of familiar woods and roads and houses. One knows well that others are living and working, sauntering and dreaming, in the rooms, the gardens, the paths where one's own energies once ran so swiftly; yet the old life seems to be there all the time, hidden away behind the woods and walls, if one could but find it! But I no more wish my experience away, or wish it otherwise, than I wish I had never loved one who is gone from me, or that I had never heard a strain of sweet music, because it has died upon the air. Because I did not find what I was in search of, or only found a shadow of it, I do not believe that it is not there—the wheat-flour and the honey are in the hand of God. I should have tasted them if I had but walked in His way! Nay, I did taste them; and when He gives me grace to hearken, I shall be fed and satisfied.
Printed by BALLANTYNE, HANSON & Co.
Edinburgh & London
Works by Arthur G. Benson, C.V.O.
- MEMOIRS OF ARTHUR HAMILTON.
- ARCHBISHOP LAUD: A Study.
- POEMS.
- LYRICS.
- ESSAYS.
- LORD VYET and Other Poems.
- FASTI ETONENSES.
- LIFE OF ARCHBISHOP BENSON.
- THE PROFESSOR and Other Poems.
- THE SCHOOLMASTER.
- THE HOUSE OF QUIET.
- TENNYSON (Little Biographies Series).
- SELECTIONS FROM WHITTIER.
- THE HILL OF TROUBLE.
- THE ISLES OF SUNSET.
- ROSSETTI (English Men of Letters Series).
- PEACE and Other Poems.
- EDWARD FITZGERALD (English Men of Letters Series).
- THE UPTON LETTERS.
- THE THREAD OF GOLD.
- WALTER PATER (English Men of Letters Series).
- FROM A COLLEGE WINDOW.
- THE GATE OF DEATH.
- BESIDE STILL WATERS.
- THE ALTAR FIRE.
- AT LARGE.
- POEMS (Collected).
- THE SILENT ISLE.
- RUSKIN: A Study in Personality.
- THE LEAVES OF THE TREE.
- THE CHILD OF THE DAWN.
- PAUL THE MINSTREL and Other Stories.
- THY ROD AND THY STAFF.
- ALONG THE ROAD.
With H.F.W. Tatham
MEN OF MIGHT.
Edited, with Viscount Esher
SELECTIONS FROM THE CORRESPONDENCE OF QUEEN VICTORIA.