Another story is told of an Egyptian clerk at a railway station in the far south who was much disinclined to act on any occasion without precise instructions. One day the officer at the depot received a telegram from him which read: “Station-master is being devoured by lion on platform. Please wire instructions.” On another occasion this same clerk telegraphed down the line to the nearest English official the following startling message. “Station attacked by lions, tigers, bears, and wolves.” The Englishman replied: “Your message ridiculous. Wire precisely what you mean.” To this the clerk, after some hesitation, humbly answered, “Delete tigers and bears.”
When the great dam at Aswân was being built, the Egyptian government gave notice to all Nile boatmen that the river would be closed to traffic at this point for the period of one year. In spite of ample warning, however, several vessels arrived from Lower Nubia after the date fixed for the closing of the waterway, and were therefore held up on the south side of the works. After waiting a month or two one of the skippers came to the engineer in charge and asked him how long he would have to wait before he could continue his journey down stream, as he was somewhat in a hurry.
“Well,” said the official, “I expect you will have to stay where you are for about ten months more.”
“Thank you, sir,” the boatman answered, quite unmoved. “Would you be so kind as to lend me a bit of rope? I suppose I shall have to tie up.”
There are times when the simplicity of the Egyptian becomes annoying. Indeed there are occasions when these irresponsible ways lead to terrible crimes, for which the hangman’s rope is none too severe a punishment. A tragic story of this kind was told me a year or two ago in Upper Egypt. Three young peasants wished to play a practical joke on an unpopular villager, who was for the moment believed to be absent from home; and they decided that the most amusing plan would be to enter his house and make hay with his goods and chattels. They therefore went at dead of night to the place, and made an examination to ascertain the easiest manner of forcing an entrance. In the back wall they discovered that several bricks were loose, and by removing these a hole was made of a size sufficient to permit of a child crawling through. With many suppressed giggles they returned to their own dwelling place and secured the services of a little girl about nine years old who was related to one of their number. They then hurried back to their victim’s house, and telling the girl that she must open one of the doors or windows from the inside, they pushed her through the hole. Now it so happened that the unpopular gentleman had returned from his travels and was asleep within the front chamber; and very soon the little girl appeared at the hole in the wall, calling to her companions to pull her back again as quickly as possible. At that moment the owner of the house awoke, and, hearing the noise, rushed into the back room. There he saw in the semi-darkness the figure of the girl struggling to escape through the hole, and promptly he seized her by the legs and began to pull. The practical jokers on the other side of the wall, realising what was happening, grabbed the girl’s head and also began to pull.
“Allah!” said one of them. “He’ll drag her in and recognise who she is, and then he’ll have us up for burglary.”
“Pull!” gasped another; “he’ll get her!”
“You’ll pull her head off if you’re not careful,” said the third.
“O well, she’s only a girl,” answered his companion. They now each had a hand upon the unfortunate child’s head and throat, and with a mighty tug they pulled her through the hole. They then picked up the limp body and raced back to their own home.
“Well, well,” panted one, as they sat once more in safety, “that was a narrow squeak!”