Whereas, A person calling himself Ebenezer Riley, has, by force and arms, cut the water pipes of our realm; cut the gas pipes of our realm; broken the window glass of our realm; upset the hay-stacks of our realm; frightened the women of our realm; prowled about our realm; and generally hurt, scared, damaged, terrified, and seriously deranged our realm;
Be it Resolved!
All.—Ebenezer Riley must be hanged!
(Telephone bell rings;—King goes back C., and speaks through it.)
King.—Hullo! Hullo! Hullo! Central office! Hey? Central office! Central office!!! (Aside.) (The central office is a little off his base.) Hey? Of course I did! Connect me with central barracks. Yes, they are too! Look in the Directory! Hey? Well, why didn’t you do it before? What’s that you say? I heard you!—you confounded—(Whispers in telephone.) What? You’d better pay attention to business, or I will. Hullo!—Central guard house and barracks! Of course it is.—Hey? Yes! Nougat First! Well, you’d better! Have you seen Ebenezer Riley this morning? Has he done anything in particular this A.M.? Can’t you understand? Has he done anything in particular this A.M.? Has-he-done-any-thing-in-par-tic-u-lar-this-D.-A.-M.!! Well, why didn’t you say so—(By George!!) that’s the worst yet! Why didn’t you stop him? Get it mended, then, so that it will shoot. Oh, tell them to charge it. Yes, they will—they know me. Riley broke it?—(Oh! the villain!) He does, hey? Was he coming very rapidly? What? Oh! More indignities, more destruction! (Very angry.) I’ll fix him! (Smiles.) You don’t say so! Of course we can. Is he there now? (Laughs.) That’s the best I’ve heard yet. Well! Be sure that nobody wakes him. Hey? Oh! Good-bye. (Comes down.) By George!
(Sings.) Whereas, This person aforesaid, calling himself Ebenezer Riley, has gone and been and laid himself down upon the lea side of a convenient haystack, and whereas he has with him only a broom handle and two bricks, and whereas, besides all this, he is fast asleep and snoring like mad;
Be it resolved:
All.—Ebenezer Riley must be hanged!
(While King is singing enter Cara. and Sassy. L., who stand, listening L., back.)
Cara. (to Sassy.).—