CONTRARY COGNOMENS.
IF you wanted Fry to cook a chop, you’d find yourself mistaken,
And pills, not rashers, form the stock of enterprising Bacon;
Taylor goes in for selling boots, whilst Butler’s a musician,
And Cooper couldn’t hoop a tub with any expedition;
Long’s only four foot six, but Short’s miraculously long;
Strong’s dying of consumption, but the Weekes continue strong.
It’s strange to find that Butcher is a vegetarian,
That Brewer is teetotal, and Goodchild a bad old man.
Parsons is a publican, and Church an unbeliever,
Lawless a solicitor, Truelove a gay deceiver;
Steel deals in soft goods, Draper’s ware is advertised as hard,
And Gamble would be shocked at sight of domino or card;
Wright’s wrong as oft as any one, Dullman is smart and witty,
Miss Fortune is the luckiest young lady in the city;
Gray’s black, Black’s red, Green’s brown, and Gay is always on the mope,
Leggett is doomed to crutches, and old Curley bald as soap.
AN ÆSTHETIC WOOING.
ANGELINA Seraphina
Wilhelmina Murphy,
See on knees here Ebenezer
Julius Cæsar Durphy.
I’ve forsaken vows I’ve taken
To a dozen ladies,
Rose and Ella, Annabella,
And Mirella Bradys.
What to me now e’er can be now
Hippolita Flanagan?
Or sweet Dora Leonora
Otherwise O’Branagan?
Or that Hebe Flora Phœbe
Anastatia Hoolahan?
Or Miranda Alexandra
May Amanda Woolahan?
Roderigo Paul Diego
Burke may try his part again;
Or Bernardo Leonardo
Furey seek your heart again.
But be mine, love, as I’m thine, love;
Just espouse my cause, my dear,
And I swear I’ll give our heir
A name to break your jaws, my dear!
THE DRUNKARD’S DREAM.
HE slumbered in a quiet sleep beneath Heaven’s sparkling dome,
A man without a single friend, a wretch without a home;
And there he lay, a spectacle to every passer-by—
The only roof that sheltered him, the star-bespangled sky!
Hungry and ill, he’d left the town to roam he knew not where;
Hungry and tired, he slept at last, forgetful of his care;
Forgetful of the agony he’d suffered all the day,
He slumbered now, and care and woe at last had flown away.
He dreamt that he was standing where so long ago he stood;
Again he heard the cheering of a mighty multitude;
He was receiving once again the prize his skill had won—
He heard his father blessing God for having such a son!