The Astonishing History of Troy Town

by Arthur Quiller-Couch

"'Why, no, not partic'lar. Sooner or later, o' cou'se; but, thank'ee all the same, I'm thinkin' to do et a bit furder on.'

"'Then,' says the dapper man, 'I'll trouble you to hand over the berryin' fees for this parish.'

"'But I baint goin' to berry deceased i' this parish.'

"'That don't matter. Ef a corpse has use o' this parish, he's got to pay fees.'

"'How's that?'

"'Why, a corpse es dead,' says the chap; 'you'll allow that, I s'pose?'

"'Iss,' says Sam, 'I reckon I'll allow that.'

"'An' ef a corpse es i' this parish, he's dead i' this parish?'

"'Likely he es,' admits Sam.

"'Well, 'cordin' to law, anybody dead i' this parish es boun' to be berried i' this parish, an' therefore to pay fees,' says the man; 'and now I hopes you'll hand over the money, 'cos the train's waitin'.'