Fred. This is getting exciting!
Sel. We tussled furiously, I think I must have hurt his fist, for my eye is precious painful (putting his hand to his face), and then somebody shouted “police,” and for a wonder an active and intelligent officer at once appeared on the scene.
Fred. And locked you up?
Sel. No! I hastily snatched the hat from the pavement and ran like an antelope, but imagine my horror when I discovered I had taken my antagonist’s hat instead of my own!
Fred. That didn’t matter if it was as good, or better!
Sel. It did matter very much, for since I have had two stolen I have always stuck my card on the inside and consequently I expect to be shortly called upon, and called out by the gentleman I insulted. It is not that I fear for my own sake, but if it gets to my wife’s ears I shall never hear the last of it.
Fred. What are you going to do?
Sel. Simply be beforehand with my antagonist and disarm his resentment by profuse apologies—his name is Tompkins I have found that out.
Fred. Where does he live?
Sel. There’s the rub, for it does not give his address inside his hat, only his name! Now comes my need of your help. Go and buy the London Directory, and with this hat in one hand and that apology in the other call on all the Tompkins’s in the town!