“She may cause complications.”
“I can’t tell until I’ve seen her,” was Dinky-Dunk’s none too definite reply.
“Then we needn’t cross that bridge until we come to it,” I announced as I sat watching Dinky-Dunk pack the bowl of his pipe and strike a match. It seemed a trivial enough movement. Yet it was monumental in its homeliness. It was poignant with a power to transport me back to earlier and happier days, to the days when one never thought of feathering the nest of existence with the illusions of old age. A vague loneliness ate at my heart, the same as a rat eats at a cellar beam.
I crossed over to my husband’s side and stood with one hand on his shoulder as he sat there smoking. I waited for him to reach out for my other hand. But the burden of his troubles seemed too heavy to let him remember. He smoked morosely on. He sat in a sort of self-immuring torpor, staring out over what he still regarded as the wreck of his career. So I stooped down and helped myself to a very smoky kiss before I went off up-stairs to bed. For the children, I knew, would have me awake early enough—and nursing mothers needs must sleep!
Thursday the Second
I have won my point. Dinky-Dunk has succumbed. The migration is under way. The great trek has begun. In plain English, we’re moving.
I rather hate to think about it. We seem so like the Children of Israel bundled out of a Promised Land, or old Adam and Eve turned out of the Garden with their little Cains and Abels. “We’re up against it, Gee-Gee,” as Dinky-Dunk grimly observed. I could see that we were, without his telling me. But I refused to acknowledge it, even to myself. And it wasn’t the first occasion. This time, thank heaven, I can at least face it with fortitude, if not with relish. I don’t like poverty. And I don’t intend to like it. And I’m not such a hypocrite as to make a pretense of liking it. But I do intend to show my Dinky-Dunk that I’m something more than a household ornament, just as I intend to show myself that I can be something more than a breeder of children. I have given my three “hostages to fortune”—and during the last few days when we’ve been living, like the infant Moses, in a series of rushes, I have awakened to the fact that they are indeed hostages. For the little tikes, no matter how you maneuver, still demand a big share of your time and energy. But one finally manages, in some way or another. Dinky-Dunk threatens to expel me from the Mothers’ Union when I work over time, and Poppsy and Pee-Wee unite in letting me know when I’ve been foolish enough to pass my fatigue-point. Yet I’ve been sloughing off some of my old-time finicky ideas about child-raising and reverting to the peasant-type of conduct which I once so abhorred in my Finnish Olga. And I can’t say that either I or my family seem to have suffered much in the process. I feel almost uncannily well and strong now, and am a wolf for work. If nothing else happened when our apple-cart went over, it at least broke the monotony of life. I’m able to wring, in fact, just a touch of relish out of all this migrational movement and stir, and Casa Grande itself is already beginning to remind me of a liner’s stateroom about the time the pilot comes aboard and the donkey-engines start to clatter up with the trunk-nets.
For three whole days I simply ached to get at the Harris Ranch shack, just to show what I could do with it. And I realized when Dinky-Dunk and I drove over to it in the buckboard, on a rather nippy morning when it was a joy to go spanking along the prairie trail with the cold air etching rosettes on your cheek-bones, that it was a foeman well worthy of my steel. At a first inspection, indeed, it didn’t look any too promising. It didn’t exactly stand up on the prairie-floor and shout “Welcome” into your ears. There was an overturned windmill and a broken-down stable that needed a new roof, and a well that had a pump which wouldn’t work without priming. There was an untidy-looking corral, and a reel for stringing up slaughtered beeves, and an overturned Red River cart bleached as white as a buffalo skeleton. As for the wickiup itself, it was well-enough built, but lacking in windows and quite unfinished as to the interior.