The Magistrate: A Farce in Three Acts

by Arthur Wing Pinero

Very good. [Goes to the table, upon which he puts plate.] Say I have to give you change sixteen shillings.

Mr. Posket.

Certainly.

Isidore.

Very good. Before I bring it to you I slip a little half-crown under the bill—so. Then I put what is left on the top of the bill, and I say, “I beg your pardon, your change.” You take it, you give me two shillings for myself, and all is right.

Mr. Posket.

[Counting the silver on the bill with the end of his glasses.] Yes, but suppose I count the silver, it is half-a-crown short!

Isidore.

Then I say, “I beg your pardon, how dare you say that?” Then I do so. [He pulls the bill from the plate.] Then I say, “The bill is eight pounds four shillings [handing the plate], count again.”