The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts

by Arthur Wing Pinero

PEGGY.

Champagne! Who ordered that? I didn't.

QUECKETT.

Hush! I did—I did—I did.

PEGGY.

Then it is your party?

QUECKETT.

Part of the party is my party. [Opening another packet.] I've broken into the rent. [He hands Tyler the bill and some money, pocketing the remainder. Tyler goes out.] The Fire Insurance alone remains intact. [Opening the last packet.] Postal Orders for thirty shillings. I'll despatch that, at any rate. [He sits at the writing-table and begins to write. Peggy hammers up the last piece of holly, as Queckett tries to write.] Oh, you vexing girl!

PEGGY.

Beg pardon; this is the last blow. [She gives another knock as Jane enters, carrying a large ornamental wedding-cake. Jane is in a black gown and smart cap and apron; her eyes are wide open with pleasure and astonishment. Jane deposits the cake upon the writing-table before Queckett.]