I should like to make a long journey in enquiries concerning the poor; I know not what would be best, and have prayed to God to guide me, but I am utterly displeased with myself in my religious pursuits. My mind is sensual, and my progress slow; may the mercy of the Almighty be shed on me in grace to mend. I have planned a new work, ‘Deism Delineated,’ and made some progress, but do not please myself. It must be done gradually as I read, and my time is fully occupied with many pursuits.
Post to Chesterford, and having received a letter from the present Duke of Bedford requesting me to meet Lord Somerville and Mr. Coke at Woburn in order to consult upon the best means of carrying the late Duke’s intentions into execution, especially in relation to the sheep-shearing, I set off accordingly, and got to Woburn at night, where I found Lord Somerville and Mr. Coke, and we considered the matter as well as the late Duke’s proposals to breeders. At the meeting the Duke’s attention was very pleasing, for he had great solicitude to arrange everything down to the minutest trifles in exactly the same manner as his brother had done on former occasions.
Before dinner, the first day, he came up to me and said, ‘Mr. Y., I beg you will take your old seat, and preside at one end of the table, for which purpose I have ordered a servant to keep your chair.’ Everyone remarked the extreme attention of the duke that all the business of the meeting should be well conducted.
12th.—Heartily tired of London, and the scenes I have endured at home. I left town, and took Betsy’s new chaise, which I had bought for her (170 guineas) for Chesterfield, where her whole family were. It was a hurrying day.
Next morning, Sunday, to church, and in the afternoon, contrary to many feelings, to Baldock. No post-chaise to be had, so went on in my whisky to Shefford, then post to Woburn by particular desire of the Duke of Bedford, to concert matters with Lord Somerville and Mr. Coke for the shearing business. It was 11 P.M. at night before I arrived; nobody there except they and Cartwright.
On the Thursday, with Mr. Coke and Mr. Talbot, in Coke’s chaise to Brandon, and on Friday morning to Holkham.
Farmed on Saturday and too much on Sunday, so here have been two Lord’s days profaned. How difficult it is to be in the world and preserve oneself uncontaminated by common practices! At church, however, in the morning.
The sheep-shearing the four following days, at which I had never been before. He does it handsomely; 200 dined on plate.
The dinner better than at Woburn, I think from vicinity to the sea, which gives plenty of fish.
At the Holkham meeting, had I entertained my former feelings of pride and discontent, I should not have been too well pleased, for Mr. C. was personally civil and attentive; and yet he took not the smallest public opportunity of mentioning me, the Board, my report, or anything about it, though the occasion certainly called in reason for it. Once this would have mortified me, but now I value such matters not a straw. May God permit me to do my duty to Him, and as to what men think of me, I regard it less than the idle wind. I went to bed every night directly after coffee, between 9 and 10 P.M., and was up between 3 and 4 A.M.