Reflecting afterwards on this conversation, I thought that some admission of the terms in writing should be obtained, as in case of deaths or revolutions they might be questioned; I therefore wrote to Mr. de N., recapitulating the terms on both sides and begging to know if I was correct.
No answer was returned; but Lord Somerville, calling on me two days after, mentioned in conversation that be had recommended a Mr. Green, who had farmed in Normandy, and been seven years in a French prison, of which he had published an account, to Mr. de N. to go to Russia to survey a government, hinting at the same time his knowledge that my son was in contemplation also. He said that G. had breakfasted with de N., who was much pleased with him.
All this awakens suspicions in my mind that, combined with the silence of Mr. de N., make it apparently necessary to know how we really stand, and I determined to write to Smirenove requesting that he would speak to Mr. de N., as any uncertainty was unpleasant, while my son was actually arranging his farm, &c., for his departure. This I have now done, and shall send it before breakfast, for no answer is yet come.
I do not like the complexion of the business, but think it likely that Green speaking French, which will save the necessity of Jane going as an interpreter, and perhaps his taking one or two hundreds instead of 1,000l., may have induced de N. to think again of the matter.
I have prayed earnestly to the Lord that He would prevent the journey taking place if it would turn out in any way injurious to the state of their souls, putting the matter entirely in His Almighty hands, and determining to rest assured that if it does not take place, it will be the Lord’s will, and that I should be thankful for His interference to prevent it.
The government of Moscow which A. was to have done is thirteen times as big as Norfolk. It would take two years to do it well without any doubt. A. is much disappointed, for he liked the thoughts of the scheme much.
I threw out in conversation with N. that if the business of the Board would permit, and they approved it, I would go over in June, and stay till November to assist in the work; that I should ask only my expenses. He seemed much to approve of this, but it was mentioned only as a contingency. Here the matter rests. I shall know soon what the event will be.
Many things have had a very lowering aspect of late, the ‘Annals’ with Phillips are certainly at an end. They do not answer with him, and he has demurred at settling the account, with 100l. or more due to me. This will be a loss of 180l. a year. My plan is to print four numbers a year on my own account, for the sake of selling old stock; by this I shall lose 40l. more. In Ar.’s (Arthur’s) farm the rent will be sunk from last Michaelmas 20l. a year, and I am engaged to pay Noxford 20l. a year more tithe. This year the Exchequer annuity of 150l. a year ceases.
On the whole here is full 400l. a year loss of income, which will be very distressing if every expenditure be not pared down in a most economical manner. May the Lord’s mercy give me grace to be steady and determined in this matter, for it is a most important one. I have very little to suffer personally in the reduction, for the expenses do not run that way, but comforts must be cheerfully lessened.
Feb. 3.—No answer came from Novosilikoff; I wrote therefore to Smirenove, who replied last Friday that N. was gone to St. Petersburg, that he had replied to my letter, and was surprised that I had not received it; that he approved of all the contents of mine, and had left orders with him to supply money.