HUSBAND. [Throwing away the flowers] It's a nice habit they have in this place—of sending flowers to other people's wives.
WIFE. I think it would have been well for you to go to bed a little earlier.
HUSBAND. I am perfectly convinced that the Captain was of the same opinion. But as my one choice was to stay and be made ridiculous, or go home alone and be made equally ridiculous, I preferred to stay....
WIFE. ... And make yourself ridiculous.
HUSBAND. Can you explain why you care to be the wife of a ridiculous man? I should never care to be the husband of a ridiculous woman.
WIFE. You are to be pitied!
HUSBAND. Right you are. Frequently I have thought so myself. But do you know what is the most tragical feature of my ridiculousness?
WIFE. I am sure your own answer will be much cleverer than any one I could give.
HUSBAND. It is—that I am in love with my wife after fifteen years of marriage....
WIFE. Fifteen years! Have you begun to use a pedometer?