Representative Women of Deseret: A Book of Biographical Sketches

by Augusta Joyce Crocheron

"On the 3rd of February, 1846, I was married to H. K. Whitney, eldest son of N. K. Whitney, by Brigham Young. We were the last couple sealed in the Temple at Nauvoo. We were among the exiles who crossed the river on the 16th of the same month, intending to go over to the Rocky Mountains that year. But when the government demanded the strength of our companies to fight for them, we had to seek a place to quarter for the winter. I was sick most of the time while there. Some of the journey we had to walk, and our food being poor and scant, the infant and the aged, all classes, were swept off by death—the latter by scurvy and sheer exhaustion. The next year my husband was one of those chosen to go as a pioneer, and he had to go though the day of trial was upon me.

"Our first born, a lovely girl baby, was buried there—we could not both live; but during those dark hours I had friends and the Lord was there. We had but few men, mostly aged and disabled, but to see the union of the sisters; the fasting and prayers for the preservation of our battallion and the pioneers; and for the destroyer to be stayed; the great and marvelous manifestations, even the power of the resurrection, experienced there—proved that they were encircled by a mighty power, and that 'the prayers of the righteous availeth much.' I will mention one circumstance to show the heavenly spirit that dwelt with us there, and also the power of the destroyer, which none who witnessed could misunderstand.

"We were struggling with the evil one who had laid his grasp upon the babes—one was my mother's, the other, Sarah Ann's, (one of my father's wives). We all felt that we must part with one, as one would no sooner get relief than the other would be worse, and after a time mother asked the Lord, if agreeable to His will, to take hers and spare the other, as she had other children, and Sarah Ann had but this one. But He chose to take the latter. Should not this teach us a lesson? and where could such love be found, only in the hearts of Saints?

"Many weeks I remained feeble, but I had received the promise that I should be healed, and one morning Sister Perris Young, on whom the spirit had rested all night, to come and administer to me; came and under her administration, with my mother, I was made whole.

"Those were trying days, when one meal was eaten we knew not where we were to get the next, but we neither wanted for food nor raiment. We had not heard from the pioneers since they left till they were returning, and the news was that they were short of teams and without breadstuff, and a long way from home. Our feelings can better be imagined than described, for we had little enough ourselves, but we lifted our hearts to God, and I can call it nothing less than miraculous, a supply was soon furnished and men and teams started to meet them. The next spring all were preparing to move, and as I was helping to put on my wagon cover I came near fainting and was prostrated on my bed from that time. I had a baby boy born on the 17th of August, but he was buried on the 22nd, my twentieth birthday. This was the worst part of our journey, the roads being rough and rocky. I mourned incessantly, and that with my intense bodily sufferings soon brought me to death's door, but it was shorn of its sting. I was cold, but oh, how peaceful, as I lay there painless and my breath passing so gently away; I felt as though I was wafting on the air and happy in the thought of meeting so soon with my babes where no more pain or sorrow could come. I had talked with my husband and father who were weeping as I took a parting kiss from all but my poor mother, who was the last one called and had sunk upon her knees before me. This distressed me, but I bade her not mourn for she would not be long behind me. My words struck father like a sudden thunderbolt, and he spoke with a mighty voice and said—'Vilate, Helen is not dying!" but my breath which by this time had nearly gone, stopped that very instant, and I felt his faith and knew that he was holding me; and I begged him to let me go as I thought it very cruel to keep me, and believed it impossible for me to live and ever recover. The destroyer was then stirred up in anger at being cheated out of his victim and he seemed determined to wreak his vengeance upon us all. No one but God and the angels to whom I owe my life and all I have, could know the tenth part of what I suffered. I never told anybody and I never could. A keener taste of misery and woe, no mortal, I think, could endure. For three months I lay a portion of the time like one dead, they told me; but that did not last long. I was alive to my spiritual condition and dead to the world. I tasted of the punishment which is prepared for those who reject any of the principles of this Gospel. Then I learned that plural marriage was a celestial principle, and saw the difference between the power of God's priesthood and that of Satan's and the necessity of obedience to those who hold the priesthood, and the danger of rebelling against or speaking lightly of the Lord's annointed.

"I had, in hours of temptation, when seeing the trials of my mother, felt to rebel. I hated polygamy in my heart, I had loved my baby more than my God, and mourned for it unreasonably. All my sins and shortcomings were magnified before my eyes till I believed I had sinned beyond redemption. Some may call it the fruits of a diseased brain. There is nothing without a cause, be that as it may, it was a keen reality to me. During that season I lost my speech, forgot the names of everybody and everything, and was living in another sphere, learning lessons that would serve me in future times to keep me in the narrow way. I was left a poor wreck of what I had been, but the Devil with all his cunning, little thought that he was fitting and preparing my heart to fulfill its destiny. My father said that Satan desired to clip my glory and was quite willing I should die happy; but when he was thwarted he tried in every possible way to destroy my tabernacle. President Young said that the mountains through which we passed were filled with the spirits of the Gadianton robbers spoken of in the Book of Mormon. The Lord gave father faith enough to hold me until I was capable of exercising it for myself. I was so weak that I was often discouraged in trying to pray, as the evil spirits caused me to feel that it was no use: but the night after the first Christmas in this valley, I had my last struggle and resolved that they should buffet me no longer. I fasted for one week, and every day I gained till I had won the victory and I was just as sensible of the presence of holy spirits around my bedside as I had been of the evil ones. It would take up too much room to relate my experience with the spirits, but New Year's eve, after spending one of the happiest days of my life I was moved upon to talk to my mother. I knew her heart was weighed down in sorrow and I was full of the holy Ghost. I talked as I never did before, I was too weak to talk with such a voice (of my own strength), beside, I never before spoke with such eloquence, and she knew that it was not myself. She was so affected that she sobbed till I ceased. I assured her that father loved her, but he had a work to do, she must rise above her feelings and seek for the Holy Comforter, and though it rent her heart she must uphold him, for he in taking other wives had done it only in obedience to a holy principle. Much more I said, and when I ceased, she wiped her eyes and told me to rest. I had not felt tired till she said this, but commenced then to feel myself sinking away. I silently prayed to be renewed, when my strength returned that instant.

"New Year's day father had set apart to fast and pray, and they prepared a feast at evening. I had prayed that I might gain a sure testimony that day that I was acceptable to God, and my father, when he arose to speak, was so filled with His power, that he looked almost transfigured! He turned to me and spoke of my sufferings and the blessings I should receive because of the same. He prophesied of the great work that I should do, that I should live long and raise honorable sons and daughters that would rise up and call me blessed, and should be a comfort to my mother in her declining years, and many more things which I have fulfilled. Many who knew me then have looked at me and seen me working with my children around me, with perfect amazement and as one who had been dead and resurrected.

"I lost three babes before I kept any, (two boys and girl). My first to live was Vilate, she grew to womanhood and was taken. Orson F. was my next, who has been appointed Bishop of the Eighteenth Ward. I had four more daughters, then a son, my last a little girl who died at five years of age; being eleven in all. My parents have left me and my heart has been wrung to the utmost, yet I have said—Thy will O God, be done. Persons have sometimes wondered at my calmness and endurance, but I think they would not had they passed through the same experience.

"I have encouraged and sustained my husband in the celestial order of marriage because I knew it was right. At various times I have been healed by the washing and annointing, administered by the mothers in Israel. I am still spared to testify to the truth and Godliness of this work; and though my happiness once consisted in laboring for those I love, the Lord has seen fit to deprive me of bodily strength, and taught me to 'cast my bread upon the waters' and after many days my longing spirit was cheered with the knowledge that He had a work for me to do, and with Him, I know that all things are possible.

"Almost my first literary effort was inspired by the reading of the various opinions of men published in our dailies, upon woman's disabilities, etc.; and my continuing is due to the advice and urgent wishes of many of my sisters.