The sexual question

by Auguste Forel

I am obliged to dwell on these facts, so that my ideas may not be falsely interpreted, by premature generalization. On the other hand, when a strongly associated brain suggests to a weak brain of the opposite sex sentiments of sympathy and makes use of them to arouse the sexual appetite, it may produce a suggested love which closely resembles natural amorous intoxication. If the discovery of an imposture or abuse of power on the part of the hypnotizer weakens or destroys the effect of suggestion, the hypnotized subject recovers herself. Despite and repentance may then transform her love into hatred.

In other cases there is a struggle between sexual desire and the disillusion of a deceived love, which often serves as the tragic motive in romance and the drama. The following is a typical case of suggested love without formal hypnotic proceedings:

An old roué aged sixty, married and the father of a family, persecuted a very suggestible young girl with his attentions, and systematically seduced her by means of erotic readings. He produced such an impression on this young girl that she became hypnotized and fell in love with the old roué She lost all conscience, became deceitful and untruthful by suggestion, and compromised herself and her family. Her seducer was poor, so that it was not his fortune that attracted her. She knew very well that this union could lead to nothing, but could not resist, and eloped with him. Later on she came to her senses and left him.

According to an old proverb, young girls laugh at old men and only marry them reluctantly or for their money; but in reality this is by no means always true.

Amorous Intoxication.—Let us now compare these phenomena with those of ordinary life called amorous intoxication. The affinities are at once apparent. A man and a woman meet and take a fancy for each other. The reciprocal action of looks, speech and touch, in fact all the apparatus of the senses and the mind, awakens in both of them sentiments of sympathy and sexual desire which mutually strengthens each other. Sexual desire invests every action and appearance of the loved object with an ever-increasing halo of charm and splendor, and this halo of sexual origin increases in its turn the sentiments of sympathy; and the sentiments of sympathy increase the sexual desire. In this way mutual suggestions grow like a snowball, and rapidly attain the culminating point of amorous intoxication, or what is called being madly in love.

All this depends only on reciprocal illusion. The more violent and foolish the amorous intoxication, without preparation or reflexion, and the less the individuals know each other, the more rapidly these illusions collapse, like a castle of cards, as soon as some douche of cold water sobers the two lovers. Thus indifference, disgust, and even hatred, follow "love."

The suggestive element in love is here apparent. Just as a hypnotized person will eagerly swallow a raw potato which he takes for an orange; so will a person madly in love regard an ugly or wicked girl as a goddess, or an amorous girl find her ideal of chivalry and manliness in an egoistic Don Juan.

The affinity is still more evident when the amorous intoxication is only on one side, while the other plays the part of seducer. When motives of pecuniary interest are not the only cause of seduction, and even often when they are, the seducer generally brings into play his sexual appetite, but only as a collaborator in his work of seduction without allowing himself to be dominated by it. In this case one is the seducer and the other the seduced. The seducer plays the part of the hypnotizer who suggests, while the seduced plays the part of the hypnotized, unless the seduction is due to fear, weakness of mind or good nature. The seducer is no doubt more or less under erotic influence, but never completely. The seduced, on the contrary, falls completely under the power of the seducer. The thoughts, sentiments and will are all directed by the impulses of the seducer. The latter acquires his ascendancy by means of a kind of suggestive power, often assisted by the sexual appetite.

In many cases the seduced gives way by pure suggestion of love without sexual desire. These are precisely the cases that the law does not foresee, and jurists cannot usually understand. In ordinary life, the man most often plays the part of seducer or hypnotizer; but this is not always the case. Antony, who threw himself at the feet of Cleopatra and obeyed her least gesture, was evidently hypnotized. Antonys are not rare even at the present day; but they do not constitute the rule, nor the normal state.

As we have just described it, suggestion plays a great role in love, and explains to a great extent the phenomena of illusion produced by amorous intoxication. In spite of the act which deifies it and the ecstatic happiness that accompanies it, we must admit that amorous intoxication, with its illusory suggestions uncontrolled by reason, brings more poison than true happiness into human life. I will attempt to explain the matter more clearly. When two human beings with loyal instincts have learned to know each other sufficiently, honestly avowing their reciprocal feelings and their past life, at the same time subduing their sensual appetites and judging the latter with calmness, so as to be convinced that they may reasonably hope to form a durable and happy union, then only may they abandon themselves to amorous intoxication, but not before. The fact that the latter makes each lover appear to the other in the most ideal light only serves to strengthen the feelings of sympathy and make them last for life.