Brought up in common with absolutely equal rights, girls and boys will be aware of the differences in their life tasks, such as differences of sex and individuality indicate them. Till the age of sixteen, or perhaps longer, they will have been instructed in the schools by simultaneous development of intelligence, bodily and technical exercises, æsthetics, moral and social sentiments and will. Without frightening them with the specter of eternal punishment, and without alluring them by the promise of paradise after death, they will have been taught that the object of our transient individual existence is continual effort to attain a pure human ideal. They will have learnt to find the truest satisfaction in the accomplishment of their different duties, and in work in common for the benefit of society. They will also have learnt to despise frivolity and luxury, to attach no importance to personal property and to put all their ambition into the quantity and quality of their work.
The sexual appetite will manifest itself in different individuals at different ages. Trained from childhood not to yield to every desire, but to subordinate their appetites to the welfare of the community, they will not yield immediately. Moreover, they will know the signification of this appetite. They will also know that their patience will not be tried too long, and that they may speak openly on sexual subjects to their masters and parents and even to their companions of the opposite sex.
What will be the consequences of such a state of things? Attachments will be formed early. But, instead of making all kinds of calculations concerning money, social position, etc.; instead of concealing their thoughts in the form of conventional politeness; instead of avoiding an honest explanation of the knotty point, or, at the most passing over this explanation like a cat on hot cinders; instead of trying to dazzle by their charms the one they wish to capture, the lovers of the future will be much more frank because they will have less reason to dissimulate. They will exchange plans for the future, and will mutually test each other's constancy and loyalty without fear of scandal and slander.
The two sexes will be able to enter into free relations with each other, first of all because they will both be instructed in sexual life, and secondly, because manners and customs will be more free. Without actual sexual intercourse, two lovers will thus be able to see whether their temperaments are well adapted to each other.
Then, thanks to its liberty, the period of betrothal will allow a free interchange of ideas on life between the parties concerned, so that they will soon find out whether they are likely or not to live harmoniously in conjugal union. Questions of heredity, procreation and education will be dealt with calmly and freely. This will be certainly more moral than the present conversations between betrothed couples, "well-brought up," who, apart from certain conventional degrees of flirtation, hardly dare mention anything but commonplaces.
A young man of talent, who wishes to continue his studies, will not be prevented from marrying. He may, for example, marry at twenty-four a young girl of eighteen and continue his studies till he is twenty-six. The inconvenience will be slight, for the habits of life will be simpler, and he can easily, by anticonceptional measures, avoid having children for a year or two.
What will marriage be like? First of all, all useless luxury and conventional formality will be reduced to a minimum. The husband and wife will both work, either together, or each on their own account, according to circumstances. Part of the work will naturally be devoted to the children. As at present, the husband will be able to participate in the personal education of the children, if he is more disposed than the wife.
Equality in the rights of the two sexes and matriarchy (vide Chapter XIII) will not render conjugal relations less intimate, but will, on the contrary, deepen their roots by raising their moral value. There will be less time to shine in society; dinner-parties and society functions of all kinds will be unknown; these things are for the idle rich, who have time to kill and money to spend. If a friend comes, and there is time to receive him and something for him to eat, he will be invited to take "potluck" with his family.
Clothes will be simple, comfortable and hygienic. Dwellings will be artistic, æsthetic and scrupulously clean. Pomp and luxury are not art, and are sometimes so overdone that they wound the most elementary sense of æsthetics.
If the occupation of the married couple or the number of their children render domestic servants necessary, the latter will not have the same position in the family as our present servants. Their education and social position being the same as those of the members of the family, they will take the position of companions rather than servants. No domestic work will be considered as degrading.