The sexual question

by Auguste Forel

For example, a man may cherish, respect and even adore his wife, and yet her presence and touch may not appeal to his senses, nor excite his appetite or erection; while some low-minded woman will produce in him an irresistible sensual attraction, even when he experiences neither esteem nor love for her. In such cases sexual appetite is in more or less radical opposition to love. Such extreme phenomena are not rare, but hardly common. Although excited to coitus with the woman in question, the husband would not in any case have her for wife, nor even have children by her, for after the slightest reflection he despises and fears her. Here, the sexual appetite represents the old atavistic animal instinct, attracted by libidinous looks, exuberant charms, in a word by the sensual aspect of woman.

On the contrary, in a higher domain of the human mind, the sentiments of sympathy of true love, deeply associated with fidelity, and with intellectual and moral intimacy, unite against the elementary power of the animal instinct. Here we see dwelling in the same breast (or, to speak more correctly, in the same central nervous system) two souls, which struggle with each other.

We are not dealing here with cases in which a new passion arrives to turn the man from his old affection. No doubt the extreme cases of which we have spoken are not usual, but we see in most men more or less considerable mixtures of analogous sentiments in all possible degrees, especially when the woman loved loses her physical attractions from age or other causes.

The Procreative Instinct.—The sexual appetite of man does not consist exclusively in the desire for coitus. In many cases it is combined, more or less strongly and more or less consciously, with the desire to procreate children. Unfortunately, this desire is far from being always associated with higher sentiments and with love of children or the paternal instinct. In fact, conscious reasoning plays a smaller part than the animal instinct of self-expansion. We shall see later on that the procreative instinct often plays an important role in our present civilization.

The Sexual Appetite in Woman.—In the sexual act the role of the woman differs from that of the man not only by being passive, but also by the absence of seminal ejaculations. In spite of this the analogies are considerable. The erection of the clitoris and its voluptuous sensations, the secretion from the glands of Bartholin which resembles ejaculation in the male, the venereal orgasm itself which often exceeds in intensity that of man, are phenomena which establish harmony in sexual connection.

Although the organic phenomenon of the accumulation of semen in the seminal vesicles is absent in woman, there is produced in the nerve centers, after prolonged abstinence, an accumulation of sexual desire corresponding to that of man. A married woman confessed to me, when I reproached her for being unfaithful to her husband, that she desired coitus at least once a fortnight, and that when her husband was not there, she took the first comer. No doubt the sentiments of this woman were hardly feminine, but her sexual appetite was relatively normal.

Frequency of the Sexual Appetite in Woman.—As regards pure sexual appetite, extremes are much more common and more considerable in woman than in man. In her this appetite is developed much less often spontaneously than in him, and where it is so, it is generally later. Voluptuous sensations are usually only awakened by coitus.

In a considerable number of women the sexual appetite is completely absent. For these, coitus is a disagreeable, often disgusting, or at any rate an indifferent act. What is more singular, at least for masculine comprehension, and what gives rise to the most frequent "quid pro quos," is the fact that such women, absolutely cold as regards sexual sensations, are often great coquettes, over-exciting the sexual appetites of man, and have often a great desire for love and caresses. This is more easy to understand if we reflect that the unsatiated desires of the normal woman are less inclined toward coitus than toward the assemblage of consequences of this act, which are so important for her whole life. When the sight of a certain man awakes in a young girl sympathetic desires and transports, she aspires to procreate children with this man only, to give herself to him as a slave, to receive his caresses, to be loved by him only, that he may become both the support and master of her whole life. It is a question of general sentiments of indefinite nature, of a powerful desire to become a mother and enjoy domestic comfort, to realize a poetic and chivalrous ideal in man, to gratify a general sensual need distributed over the whole body and in no way concentrated in the sexual organs or in the desire for coitus.

Nature of the Sexual Appetite in Woman.—The zone of sexual excitation is less specially limited to the sexual organs in woman than in man. The nipples constitute in her an entire zone and their friction excites voluptuousness. If we consider the importance in the life of woman, of pregnancy, suckling, and all the maternal functions, we can understand why the mixture of her sentiments and sensations is so different from that of man. Her smaller stature and strength, together with her passive role in coitus, explain why she aspires to a strong male support. This is simply a question of natural phylogenetic adaptation. This is why a young girl sighs for a courageous, strong and enterprising man, who is superior to her, whom she is obliged to respect, and in whose arms she feels secure. Strength and skill in man are the ideal of the young savage and uncultured girl, his intellectual and moral superiority that of the young cultivated girl.

As a rule women are much more the slaves of their instincts and habits than men. In primitive peoples, hardiness and boldness in men were qualities which made for success. This explains why, even at the present day, the boldest and most audacious Don Juans excite most strongly the sexual desires of women, and succeed in turning the heads of most young girls, in spite of their worst faults in other respects. Nothing is more repugnant to the feminine instinct than timidity and awkwardness in man. In our time women become more and more enthusiastic over the intellectual superiority of man, which excites their desire. Without being indifferent to it, simple bodily beauty in man excites the appetite of women to a less extent. It is astonishing to see to what point women often become enamored of old, ugly or deformed men. We shall see later on that the normal woman is much more particular than man in giving her love. While the normal man is generally attracted to coitus by nearly every more-or-less young and healthy woman, this is by no means the case in the normal woman with regard to man. She is also much more constant than man from the sexual point of view. It is rarely possible for her to experience sexual desire for several men at once; her senses are nearly always attracted to one lover only.