Yours, etc.,
A Captain, R.N."
On looking at this homœopathic treatment of the 3⅛ quadrature—remember, homœopathic, similia similibus,[[390]] not infinitesimal—and at the imputation thrown upon it, I asked myself, what is vulgarity? No two agree, except in this, that every one sees vulgarity in what is directed against himself. Mark the world, and see if anything be so common as the description of the other side's remarks as "vulgar attempt at wit." "I suppose you think that very witty:" the answer is "No my friend! your remark shows that you feel it as wit, so that the purpose is answered; I keep my razor for something else than cutting blocks;" I am inclined to think that "out of place" is a necessary attribute of true vulgarity. And further, it is to be noticed that nothing is
unproducible—salvo pudore[[391]]—which has classical authority, modern or ancient, in its favor. "He is a vulgar fellow; I asked him what he was upon, and what do you think he answered, My legs!"—"Well, and has he not justification? what do you find in Terence? Quid agitur? Statur."[[392]] I do not even blench from my principle where I find that it brings what is called "taking a sight" within permissible forms of expression: Rabelais not only establishes its antiquity, but makes it English. Our old translation[[393]] has it thus (book 2. ch. 19):
"Then made the Englishman this sign. His left hand, all open, he lifted up into the air, then instantly shut into his fist the four fingers thereof; and his thumb extended at length he placed upon the tip of his nose. Presently after he lifted up his right hand all open and abased and bent it downwards, putting the thumb thereof in the very place where the little finger of the left hand did close in the fist, and the four right hand fingers he softly moved in the air. Then contrarily he did with the right hand what he had done with the left, and with the left what he had done with the right."
An impressive sight! The making of a fist of the left hand is a great addition of power, and should be followed in modern practice. The gentle sullation of the front fingers, with the clenched fist behind them, says as plainly as possible, Put suaviter in modo in the van, but don't forget to have fortiter in re[[394]] in the rear.
My Budget was announced (March 23, 1867) for completion on the 30th. Mr. James Smith wrote five letters, one before the completion, four after it; the five contained 68 pages of quarto letter paper. Mr. J. S. had picked up a clerical correspondent, with whom he was in the heat of battle.
"March 27.—Dear Sir. Very truly yours. Duty; for my own sake; just time left to retrieve my errors; sends copy of letter to clergyman; new proof never before thought of; merest tyro would laugh if I were to stifle it, whether by rhodomontade or silent contempt; keep your temper. I shall be convinced; and if world be right in supposing me incapable of a foul act, I shall proclaim glorious discovery in the Athenæum.
"April 15.—Sir,... My dear Sir, Your sincere tutelary. Copy of another letter to clergyman; discovery tested by logarithms; reasons such as none but a knave or a sinner can resist. Let me advise you to take counsel before it is too late! Keep your temper. Let not your pride get the better of your discretion! Screw up your courage, my good friend, and resolve to show the world that you are an honest man....