it is clear that if charity, instead of believing all things, believed only all things but one, he might tremble for his political character; for the honesty of his intention on this occasion might be the incredible exception. I give a few paragraphs with comments:
"In commenting on the humorous, but still argumentative speech of Mr. Lowe, the member for Kidderminster, we may observe, in general, that it consists of points which have been several times set forth, and several times answered. Mr. Lowe has seen these answers, but does not allude to them, far less attempt to meet them. There are, no doubt, individuals, who show in their public speaking the outward and visible signs of a greater degree of acuteness than they can summon to guide their private thinking. If Mr. Lowe be not one of these, if the power of his mind in the closet be at all comparable to the power of his tongue in the House, it may be suspected that his reserve with respect to what has been put forward by the very parties against whom he was contending, arises from one or both of two things—a high opinion of the arguments which he ignored—a low opinion of the generality of the persons whom he addressed. [Both, I doubt not].
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"Did they calculate in florins ?"
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In the name of common sense, how can it be objected to a system
that people do not use it before it is introduced? Let the decimal
system be completed, and calculation shall be made in florins; that
is, florins shall take their proper place. If florins were introduced
now, there must be a column for the odd shilling.
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"He was glad that some hon. gentleman had derived benefit from the
issue of florins. His only experience of their convenience was, that
when he ought to have received half-a-crown, he had generally
received a florin, and when he ought to have paid a florin, he had
generally paid half-a-crown." (Hear, hear, and laughter.)
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If the hon. gentleman make this assertion of himself, it is not
for us to gainsay it. It only proves that he is one of that class of
men who are described in the old song,
of which one couplet runs thus:
I sold my cow to buy me a calf; I never make a
bargain but I lose half, With a etc. etc.
etc.
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But he cannot mean that Englishmen in general are so easily managed. And as to Jonathan, who is but John lengthened out a little, he would see creation whittled into chips before he would even split what may henceforth be called the Kidderminster difference. The House, not unmoved—for it laughed—with sly humor decided that the introduction of the florin had been "eminently successful and satisfactory."
The truth is that Mr. Lowe here attacks nothing except the coexistence of the florin and half-crown. We are endeavoring to abolish the half-crown. Let Mr. Lowe join us; and he will, if we succeed, be relieved from the pressure on his pocket which must arise from having the turn of the market always against him.
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"From a florin they get to 2 2-5ths of a penny, but who ever
bought anything, who ever reckoned or wished to reckon in such a coin
as that?" (Hear, hear.)
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Note the sophism of expressing our coin in terms of the penny,
which we abandon, instead of the florin, which we retain. Remember
that this 2 2-5ths is the hundredth part of the pound, which is
called, as yet, a cent. Nobody buys anything at a cent,
because the cent is not yet introduced. Nobody reckons in cents for
the same reason. Everybody wishes to reckon in cents, who wishes to
combine the advantage of decimal reckoning with the preservation of
the pound as the highest unit of account; amongst
others, a majority of the House of Commons, the Bank of England, the
majority of London bankers, the Chambers of Commerce in various
places, etc. etc. etc.
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"Such a coin could never come into general circulation because it represents nothing which corresponds
with any of the wants of the people."
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Does 2½d. never pass from hand to hand? And is 2½d. so precisely
the modulus of popular wants, that an alteration of 4 per cent. would
make it useless? Of all the values which 2½d. measures, from three
pounds of potatoes down to certain arguments used in the House of
Commons, there is not one for which a cent would not do just as well.
Mr. Lowe has fallen into the misconception of the person who admired
the dispensation of Providence by which large rivers are made to run
through cities so great and towns so many. If the cent were to be
introduced to-morrow, straightway the buns and cakes, the soda-water
bottles, the short omnibus fares, the bunches of radishes, etc. etc.
etc., would adapt themselves to the coin.
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"If the proposed system were adopted, they would all be compelled
to live in decimals for ever; if a man dined at a public house he
would have to pay for his dinner in decimal fractions. (Hear, hear.)
He objected to that, for he thought that a man ought to be able to
pay for his dinner in integers." (Hear, hear, and a laugh.)
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The confusion of ideas here exhibited is most instructive. The
speaker is under the impression that we are introducing
fractions: the truth is, that we only want to abandon the more
difficult fractions which we have got, and to introduce easier fractions.
Does he deny this? Let us trace his denial to its legitimate
consequences. A man ought to pay for his dinner in integers.
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Now, if Mr. Lowe insists on it that our integer is the pound, he is bound to admit that the present integer is the pound, of which a shilling, etc., are fractions. The next time he has a chop and a pint of stout in the city, the waiter should say—"A pound, sir, to you," and should add, "Please to remember the waiter in integers." Mr. Lowe fancies that when he pays one and sixpence, he pays in integers, and so he does, if his integer be a penny or a sixpence. Let him bring his mind to contemplate a mil as the integer, the lowest integer, and the seven cents five mils which he would pay under the new system would be payment in integers also. But, as it happens with some others, he looks up the present system, with Cocker,[[299]] and Walkingame,[[300]] and always looks down the proposed system. The word decimal is obstinately associated with fractions, for which there is no need. Hence it becomes so much of a bugbear, that, to parody the lines of Pope, which probably suggested one of Mr. Lowe's phrases—
"Dinner he finds too painful an endeavor,
Condemned to pay in decimals for ever."