“Well, I never heerd tell on the likes of sitch low talk—did you hever, Miss Twigg?” exclaimed that slut of a maid at the Tomlins’s.
“Not I, my dear; but then to be sure I’ve only lived in the fust of families,” answered that slip-shod, draggle-tail of a Miss Twigg at the Allens’. “But, after all, it’s no more than I should have looked for from sitch a stuck-up thing as she is, for missus says as how her friends his honly coal-eavers.”
As the reader can well conceive, I felt the tips of my fingers itching to be among the impudent, story-telling jades, but, thank goodness! I restrained my feelings—merely saying to myself, “Coal-heavers, indeed! well, if three barges and one wagon make a coal-heaver, I should like to know what makes a merchant, and that’s what my friends are, as that Mrs. Allen very well knows.”
“What do you think?” continued Miss Emma—“why Mrs. Sk—n—st—n hactually had the himperance to tell me that she’d stop the pot of jam she guv me, as plain as she could speak, hout of my wages. But I aint a goin to let her—no, not if I summonses the stingy old cat for it.”
“You a’nt—a’nt you?” I cried, bursting out from my hiding-place, for upon my word, my blood was up so, that I seized hold of her by the shoulders, and gave her such a shaking as she wont forget in a hurry, while her two friends scampered off with their brooms immediately they caught sight of me. “So you’ll summons me, will you?” I continued, when I couldn’t shake her any longer—“you’ll summons me, will you? and so you may, this day month, if you please—and you may summons me, if you like, for not giving you a character, into the bargain, for you wont get one from me,—you ungrateful, wicked, stupid, double-faced idiot, you!”
The courteous reader will, no doubt, be surprised that I didn’t pack the hussey out of the house then and there, and will, I dare say, be blaming me for allowing such a creature to remain one moment longer in my establishment. But I know I have always been too considerate to servants, and of course that is the reason why they treat me as they do. Besides, dear Edward was unfortunately from home, (having been called away to the Guildford Assizes by professional business,) and he does side with the servants so, that I thought it might prevent his making a noise, if I gave her the usual month’s warning, instead of bundling her and her trumpery box into the streets, as she deserved.
But, of course, it was only the old story over again, the more indulgent I was to her, the more I suffered for it. For I declare it was not more than two days after this that her abominable stupidity again got me into such a dreadful scrape, that I can only say that it was extremely lucky for her that I didn’t find it out till I got in the country, or there’s no telling what I might have done to her.
Mr. Sk—n—st—n had written me a letter to say that he feared that business would detain him in Guildford for at least a fortnight longer, as his cause stood last but three in the list, and the special jury cases had not yet been disposed of. So as I couldn’t, for the life of me, see the fun of being boxed up in town all alone, while my dear husband was enjoying himself in the country, and paying goodness knows what in hotel bills, when I was sure that one-half of the money would keep us very comfortably in lodgings in a country town like that Guildford, so I say I made up my mind, as the fine weather seemed likely to last, to pack up my box, and run down to him on the morrow, especially as I knew it would be such an agreeable surprise to him, and he was entitled by law to a guinea a-day for his expenses, and which I was convinced would be more than sufficient for the two of us.
Accordingly, immediately after breakfast, the next morning, I told that Miss Emma to bring down my hair-trunk, out of the back attic, and I set to work packing it, so that I might be in time to catch the three o’clock train. As it was only for a week or so, I thought one morning and one afternoon dress would be quite sufficient. Still, as there was a chance of my having to see company, (for every one knows how gay a country town is during the assizes, and this year there was to be a grand trial for a dreadfully shocking murder, which I was sure would fill Guildford with all the best people for miles round,) I thought it better, as I felt convinced that, under the circumstances, I should meet with several of the first ladies in the neighbourhood, to put up my beautiful new Barège, which I had just had home from the dressmaker’s, and only worn the Sunday before at church, where it was generally admired.
Really, when I came to turn it over in my mind, it was such heavenly weather that, upon my word, it seemed to me like a sin to go shutting oneself up in those close first and second class carriages, with a set of old molly-coddles, that will have all the windows up, when for half or even a quarter of the money that one is obliged to pay for being stifled alive, one can have all the advantage of travelling in an open carriage, and breathing that beautiful, pure, and balmy country air, which, to a person living in such a smoky place as London, is positively beyond all price. Not that I should wish any one to suppose that it was the paltry difference between the fares that influenced my opinion, for I declare I would sooner any day pay the price of the first class carriages to be allowed to ride in the third. Besides, it wasn’t as if I was likely to meet with any one that I was acquainted with—though for the matter of that, it was little or nothing to me if I did. So (I make no secret about it, for I don’t care who knows it) I made up my mind to go in the third class—especially as I should have to pay that minx of a Miss Emma her board wages for the fortnight, so that what with cab hire, and those shameful impositions of turnpikes, I was fearful lest the money that Edward had left with me for the housekeeping might run short, and I should be driven up in a corner for want of funds. Consequently, I put on an old dress that I didn’t care about spoiling, for I wasn’t going to be stupid enough to run the chance of having an expensive gown entirely ruined by those filthy smuts from the engine, or to go decking oneself out so as to attract notice where you rather wished to avoid it.