“What part do you prefer, madam?”
“I like the merry sort, if you please,” answered the dear little thing—meaning the merry thought.
Now this was perfect good manners. Some people would have said, “Any part—I’m not at all particular,” and would have been very impolite, for then the carver would not be sure he should suit them; so, when you are asked, always choose a part.
“Will you have chicken?” asked Lord Chesterfield of the respectable old lady-mastiff.
“Oh, oh! give it to me! I want some,” squeaked out the little black-and-tan terrier, quick as a flash, before the old mastiff could utter a syllable.
What an awful look he got from the bustling little old gentleman! and the mastiff faced round upon him with, “Sir, you’re a disrespectful puppy,” and glared in a way to frighten him into fits; while the stag-hound opposite stuck his sharp nose up in the air, and remarked in a whisper to Flora, the beautiful pointer, that “really, young America was getting too impudent for any thing.”
Beppo looked imploringly at his master to forgive little Snap this time, as he was young and silly, and hastened to put a delicious cat-bird, with crust and gravy, on his plate; and after this the dinner went on splendidly, except that the greyhound of no particular age kept her tongue waggling out of her mouth very nearly the whole time, on account of the snuffles, which prevented her from breathing freely. It was not very elegant conduct, but as she couldn’t help it, nobody looked at her; and that, you’ll own, was the politest way of behaving under the circumstances. The fat poodle and the Skye terrier talked a little in French about it, to be sure, but as nobody else understood what they said, and as they smiled all the time, the rest took it for granted that they were admiring their neighbors, and felt highly gratified.
Everybody ate and drank with all the decorum and delicacy of our city aldermen, who ought to be held up as examples of courtesy, honesty, and moderation, to the whole universe. They did not leave so much as a bone on their plates; but I am sorry to say they were in rather too much of a hurry at dessert, for most of them burned their mouths severely with the hot cracker pudding, and Snap, the black-and-tan terrier, declared that it must have been made of fire-crackers.
But, take it all in all, it was a splendid entertainment; and, after it was over, the ladies went back to the parlors, and talked about the last fashions. “Ears were to be cut off closer than ever, for terriers,” said the King Charles; and “red, white and blue collars were considered rather old-timed,” was observed by the beautiful pointer; “that is, unless the army did something decided at once, then they would be the rage again immediately.” The gentlemen of course talked of nothing but money, money, MONEY, as men, the dogs!? always do, when they get together, and if Lord Chesterfield had not made the signal to move, they would have stayed there talking about money to this day.