When she had said this Kemal smiled and put his hand on her head. “You are wise. You will not be punished if you continue so.”
The second girl would not forsake Christ. “You may kill me if you wish,” she said, “and then I will go to Jesus Christ.” As soon as she had said this a man servant dragged her out of the room. I looked at Kemal Effendi, but he was still smiling, as soft and smoothly as if he could not be otherwise than very gentle. I could see that he was more cruel even than people had said of him.
When Kemal Effendi spoke to me his voice was very soft. I can still remember it made me feel as if some wild animal’s tongue was caressing my face.
“And you, my girl,” he said, “are you to be wise or foolish?”
“God save me,” I whispered to myself again, and then something seemed to whisper back. I heard myself saying, without thinking of the words, “I will try to be as you wish.”
“That is very good. You will be happy,” Kemal replied. “You will acknowledge Allah as God and Mohammed as his prophet? Then I will be kind to you.”
“I will do that, Effendi, and I will be obedient, if you will save my family also,” I said.
“And if I do not?” Kemal asked.
“Then I will die,” I replied.
The Effendi looked at me a long time. Then he asked me to tell him of my family. I told him of my mother, my sister, Lusanne, and of my other sisters and brothers. He made me stand close to him. He put his hands on me. I stood very straight and looked into his face. I promised that if he would take my mother and sisters and brothers also I would not only renounce my religion, but obey him in all things. And for each thing I promised I whispered to myself, “Please, God, forgive me.” But I could think of no other way. I was afraid that even now, perhaps, my mother, brothers and sisters were being murdered. It seemed as if my body and soul were such little things to give for them.