"I settle that by trusting to you, Captain."
He laughed; then he said: "The test that I shall give you may depress you, but I am sure that you are going to be as good a soldier as Company H can boast of having. Lieutenant Rhett, only yesterday, remarked that you were the best-drilled man in the company, and showed astonishment that a raw recruit, in less than two weeks, should gain such a standing. I thought it advisable to say to him that your education had included some military training, and he was satisfied." The Captain had dropped his official manner. "It is clear to me, Jones, that you are more nearly a veteran than any of us. I know that you have been in danger and have been wounded, and your uniform, which you were wearing then, showed signs of the very hardest service. I have little doubt, sir, that you have already seen battle more than once."
"But, Captain, all that may be true and yet do me no good at all. I am a different man."
"Since you allow me to enter into your confidence,--which I appreciate,--I beg to say that your fears are not unnatural; I think every man in the company has them. And I dare say, as a friend, that you feel fear more sensitively because you live in the subjective; you feel thrown back on yourself. Confess that you are exclusive."
"I am forced to be so, Captain."
"The men would welcome your companionship, sir."
"Yes, sir; but it is as you say: I feel thrown back on myself."
"And I think--though, of course I would not pretend to say it positively--that is why your fears are not unnatural, though peculiar; I fancy that you heighten them by your self-concentration. The world and objects in it divert other men, while your attention is upon your own feelings. Pardon me for saying that you think of little except yourself. This new old experience of battle and peril you apply without dilution to your soul, and you wonder what the effect will be. The other men think of other men, and of home, and of a thousand things. You will be all right in battle. I predict that the excitement of battle will be good for you, sir; it will force you out of yourself."
"I have tried lately to take more interest in the world of other men and other things," I said.
"Yes; I was glad to see you playing marbles to-day. Shall I give you that test?"