He had always been orthodox, and he hoped to prevail against the wave of heterodoxy which was sweeping over modern Judaism. He had stepped forward as a champion. In the light of the duty which properly devolved upon him, how dare he, himself a transgressor, presume to teach his brethren their religious duty? His sound judgment of things which interested or affected him was due to his common sense, which, he had been heard to say, was a rare quality.
"You are always right," Mr. Moss once said to him. "How is it?"
"If I form a correct opinion," he replied, with a smile, "it is because I exercise my common sense. I do not judge from my own standpoint."
He did this now. He put himself in the place of other men. He listened to his own confession. He passed the verdict upon himself.
"This man has been living the life of a hypocrite. He has accepted money for false services. Not in words, but by his acts, he has lied. He has violated the canons of his religion. He has deceived his
wife--for money, which he pretends to despise. He has robbed a young girl of her birthright. And he dares to preach to us of duty!"
Who would believe if he told the true story of his hard trial--if he described the bitter tribulation of his soul when his beloved wife was lying at death's door? He had counseled many men in their days of struggle and temptation to be brave and do their duty. How had he performed his in his hour of temptation? No one would believe the only story he could plead in extenuation of his sin. He would be condemned by all.
And he was in the zenith of his fame. On this very day, when exposure seemed to be approaching with swift and certain steps, he had been honored as few men lived to be. If he felt pleasure in the position he had won it was because it was a source of pride and pleasure to Rachel. Was he, with his own hand, to destroy the ideal he had created? Was this the plain duty that lay now before him?
"The carriage is at the door, sir."
It was a servant who interrupted his tortured musings. He had given orders to be informed when his carriage was ready. With slow steps he left his study.