'N-no, sir,' I managed to answer.
'Do you know, you young ruffian, that there's a loss on sugar!' I knew it well enough--too well to convict myself by answering. 'What do you say to two ounces of our best mixed at two-and-eight,' he then inquired, with satirical inquisitiveness, 'or half a pound of our genuine mocha at one-and-four?'
As I did not know what to say except, 'Guilty, if you please, sir!' and as I suspected him of an intention to leap over the counter and seize me by the throat, I fled precipitately, with my heart in my mouth, and the next minute was running away, with uncle Bryan at my heels, as fast as my legs would carry me. When we were well out of danger's reach, uncle Bryan indulged in the only genuine laugh I had heard from him; but he soon became serious, and we resumed our unlawful journey. This first attempt was not the last; I tried again and again; but practice, which makes most things perfect, never made me an adept in the art. Dark nights were always chosen for our expeditions, and sometimes so many streets and thoroughfares were closed to uncle Bryan, that he was at his wits' end which way to turn to fill the basket.
Things went on with us in the same way until I was fourteen years of age. Long before this, I had learned all my schoolmaster had to teach me, and I was beginning to be distressed by the thought that I was doing a wrong thing by remaining idle. It was time that I set to work, and tried to help those who had been so good to me. I spoke about it, and uncle Bryan approved in a few curt words.
'I'm afraid he's not strong enough,' said my mother.
'Nonsense!' exclaimed uncle Bryan; and I supported him.
'I want to work,' I said; 'I should like to.'
'A good trade would be the best thing,' said my mother.
Weeks passed, and I was still idle. My mother had been busy enough in the mean while, but her efforts were unsuccessful. She learnt that a good trade for me meant a good premium from my friends; and that of course was out of the question. It would have been a hard matter to scrape together even so small a sum as five pounds, and the lowest premium asked was far above that amount. I thought it behoved me to look for myself; and I began to stroll about the streets, and search in the shop windows for some such announcement as, 'Wanted an apprentice to a good trade: no premium required; liberal wages;' followed by a description which fitted me exactly as the sort of lad which would be preferred. But no such announcement greeted my wistful gaze. I saw bills, 'Wanted this,' Wanted that,' and now and then I mustered sufficient courage to go in and offer myself; but at the end of a month's experience I could come to no other conclusion than that I was fit for neither this nor that. My manner was against me; I was shy and timid, and sometimes could scarcely find words suitable for my application; but I had that kind of courage which lies in perseverance, and my aspirations were not of an exalted nature; I was willing to accept anything in the shape of work. I know now that I applied for many situations for which I was totally unfitted, but I was not conscious of it at the time; and I know also that for a few days I was absurdly and supremely reckless in my estimate of my fitness for the employers who made their wants public. It was during this time that I found myself standing before one of those exceedingly small offices which squeeze themselves by the force of impudence and ingenuity into the very midst of really pretentious buildings which frown them down, but cannot take the impudence out of them. In the front of this office was a large black board, on which were wafered, in the neatest of round-hand, the most amazing temptations to persons in search of situations. The first temptation which assailed me was, 'Wanted a Gardener for a Gentleman's Family. Must have an Unexceptionable Moral Character. Apply within.' The doubt I had with reference to this announcement was not whether I would do for a gardener (this was during my reckless days, remember), but whether my moral character was unexceptionable. I had never before been called to answer a declaration of this description, and now that it was put to me in bold round-hand, I was stung by the share I took in the lawless sugar expeditions. Not being able to resolve the doubt as to my moral character (although sorely tempted by the exigences of my position to give myself the benefit of it), I laid aside the gardener for future consideration. The next temptation was, 'Wanted a Cook. High Church.' I discarded the cook. Reckless as I was, it exceeded the limits of my boldness to declare myself a High-Church Cook. I was not even aware that I had ever tasted food cooked in that way; the very flavour was a mystery to me. The next was, 'Wanted a Groom, Smart and Active. Seven Stone. Apply within.' I debated for some time over seven stone before I decided that it must apply to the weight of the groom. A stone was fourteen pounds. Seven fourteens was ninety-eight (I did the sum on a dead wall with a bit of brick I picked up in the road.) That I was perfectly ignorant of the duties of a groom did not affect me in the slightest degree; my only trouble was, did I weigh ninety-eight pounds? I immediately resolved to ascertain. I strolled into a by-street, and discovering a mysterious-looking recess wherein was exhibited a small pile of coals and a large pair of scales to weigh them in, I considered it a likely place to solve the problem. I had two halfpennies in my pocket, and I thought I might bargain to be weighed for one of them. So I walked into the recess, and tapping upon the scales with a halfpenny, as a proof that I meant business, waited for the result. The result came in the shape of a waddling woman with a coaly face and an immense bonnet, who said, 'Now then?' Timidly I replied, 'I want to be weighed, ma'am; I'll give you a halfpenny.' I was not prepared for the suddenness of what immediately followed. Without the slightest warning the woman lifted me in her arms with great ease, and laid me across the scales, which were shaped like a scuttle, with great difficulty, although I tried honestly to suit myself to the peculiarity of the case. Presently she threw me off as if I were a sack of coals, and tossing the weights aside, one after another, as if they were feathers, said, 'There you are!' Her words did not enlighten me. 'Am I seven stone, ma'am?' I asked, as I handed her the coin. 'About,' was her reply. I retired, dubious, in a very grimy and gritty condition, and walking to the little office where the black board was, I boldly entered, and asked the young man behind the counter (there was only room for him and me) if he wanted a groom. His reply was, 'Half a crown.' This was perplexing, and I asked again, and received a similar answer. I soon understood that I should have to pay the sum down before I could be accommodated with particulars, and as a halfpenny was the whole of my wealth, I was compelled to retire, much disheartened.
However, I was successful at length. I obtained a situation as errand-boy, sweeper, and whatnot, at a wood-engraver's, the wages being three shillings a week to commence with. How delighted I was when I told my mother, and with what pride I brought home my first week's wages, and placed them in her hand! In the duties of my new position, and in endeavouring, not unsuccessfully, to pick up a knowledge of the business, time passed rapidly. My steady attention to everything that was set me to do gradually attracted the notice of my employer, and he encouraged me in my efforts to raise myself. I was fond of cleanliness for its own sake, and my mother's chief pleasure was to keep my clothes neat and properly mended. I can see now the value of the difference between my appearance and that of other boys of my own age in the same position of life as myself, and I can more fully appreciate the beauty of a mother's love when it is deep and abiding--as my mother's love was for me.