When this damning piece of evidence presented itself to my mind,' I felt for the knife. I had left it behind me. The sheath was empty.
What now was left to me to do? Leave matters to chance, and in the event of the worst not happening, protect myself by every possible means, or give myself up to the authorities? The deed I had done was beyond recall, and would ever stand as a black mark against me. If I could have harbored a hope of proving that it was done in self-defense I should not have hesitated, but this was impossible. For Ellen's sake I would adhere, as far and as long as lay in my power, to my plan of silence and secrecy.
Tortured as I was, I felt relieved when I came to this final decision, and I began to consider how to provide for my safety. To attempt to get rid of the watch and the ulster coat would be attended with danger, inasmuch as there were at present no other means of ridding myself of them than by flinging them out of the window or leaving them in the carriage, and thus courting the attention I desired to avoid. Until a safer course presented itself I must therefore retain them.
But brain and body were exhausted, and I could not continue my deliberations. Lifting the dividing arms between the seats I sank upon the cushions, and closed my eyes in sleep.
[CHAPTER XXV.]
The train arrived at Euston at half-past eight in the morning. It marked an epoch in my fate. Though I showed in my manner neither haste nor hesitation, it was with apprehension that I alighted from the carriage, with relief that I walked through the gates, a free man!
The snow was falling in London as in Liverpool, but not so heavily, and the wind was less fierce. The weather was dreary enough, and I was in wretched spirits, uncertain what to do and where to go. But in order that my movements should not attract observation it was imperative that my uncertainty should not be apparent; I must act with an appearance of decision.
Being now in a locality with which I was familiar, I made my way to a thoroughfare where cheap clothes' shops abounded, and at one of these, the shutters of which had just been taken down, I purchased a suit of clothes, an overcoat, and a shirt, without trying them on, and a Gladstone bag in which I directed them to be packed. Hailing a cab I drove to a Turkish bath in Euston Road, and, bathing there, changed my clothes, as is not infrequently done in such establishments. I then drove to an hotel, where I engaged a room, informing the manager that my stay would depend upon letters which I expected to receive. Then I breakfasted, scarcely realizing until I sat down how sorely I was in need of food. Refreshed by the meal I retired to my room, where, locking the door, like a criminal engaged in a desperate endeavor to escape justice, I bent my thoughts again upon the perilous situation into which I had been plunged. Well did I know that it was a subject which would never leave me.
The motive for Louis' attack upon my life. Let me first fix that definitely. I could think of no other than that of obtaining possession of the few thousands of pounds which, through Barbara's death, reverted back to me. My own death proved—whether by natural means or murder mattered not—and leaving (as was rightly presumed) no will, my property would fall to my half-brother Louis and his mother, as next-of-kin. Undoubtedly this was the motive; but in what way information had been obtained of my arrival from Australia, and by whom I had been tracked from the Liverpool dock to the deserted street, it was not in my power to fathom.