My conduct was brutal; I admit it. It would have been manlier had I behaved with dignity, but during that evil time all my impulses were evil. There is an element of savagery in every human being, and it leaped forth and mastered me, and robbed sorrow of its crown. It led me into further excesses, and had not an angel appeared and rescued me, I might have deserved all the obloquy that had been thrown upon me, and have become utterly, irretrievably lost.
It was evening, and I lingered in the passage outside Barbara's door, which was locked against me. Then I called aloud:
"Annette, are you there?"
At first no answer; then, the question repeated, the reply:
"Yes, monsieur."
"Open the door."
"But, monsieur, it is madame's orders," she began, but I did not allow her to finish.
"Open the door."
"I dare not disobey madame."
"Open the door."