"Will you do anything?" said I.
Said he, "Lord Char-less, if 'tis votes you want me to collect, begob I'll quit th' plough an' travel for a fortnight."
There was the car-boys' race I arranged on Waterford quay. Ten of them started, and I won, because I had taken the precaution to stuff some hay under the pad, which I lit with a match. The horse was stimulated but quite uninjured.
Then there was the affair of the bill-poster. I had been driving round the country all day in a side-car, seeing the boys, and late at night we stopped at a small inn. I was standing in the doorway smoking a pipe, and feeling cold and rather jaded, when I noticed a bill-poster hard at work, pasting placards upon the wall of an adjacent building. I could see that they were the green placards of my opponent, my own colours being blue and white.
I strolled across, and sure enough, there was my bill-poster sticking up "Vote for Longbottom, the Friend of the People."
"And what are ye doing, my fine peacock?" said I.
"Sure I'm posting the bills of Misther Longbottom, the Friend of the People," said he.
"'Tis a grand occupation," said I. "Vote for Longbottom, the Friend of the People, and to hell with Lord Char-less," said I.
"To hell with Lord Char-less," says he.
"Come," says I, "let me show ye the way to paste bills, ye omadhaun."