"Ah, nothing like diplomacy!" said Madame de Balzac, with the air of a Richelieu, and emptying her snuff-box at a pinch; "but have you, my son, the requisite qualities for that science, as well as the tastes? Are you capable of intrigue? Can you say one thing and mean another? Are you aware of the immense consequence of a look or a bow? Can you live like a spider, in the centre of an inexplicable net—inexplicable as well as dangerous—to all but the weaver? That, my son, is the art of politics; that is to be a diplomatist!"
"Perhaps, to one less penetrating than Madame de Balzac," answered I, "I might, upon trial, not appear utterly ignorant of the noble art of state duplicity which she has so eloquently depicted."
"Possibly!" said the good lady; "it must indeed be a profound dissimulator to deceive /me/."
"But what would you advise me to do in the present crisis? What party to adopt, what individual to flatter?"
Nothing, I already discovered and have already observed, did the inestimable Madame de Balzac dislike more than a downright question: she never answered it.
"Why, really," said she, preparing herself for a long speech, "I am quite glad you consult me, and I will give you the best advice in my power. /Ecoutez donc/; you have seen the Duc de Maine?"
"Certainly!"
"Hum! ha! it would be wise to follow him; but—you take me—you understand. Then, you know, my son, there is the Duc d'Orleans, fond of pleasure, full of talent; but you know—there is a little—what do you call it? you understand. As for the Duc de Bourbon, 'tis quite a simpleton; nevertheless we must consider: nothing like consideration; believe me, no diplomatist ever hurries. As for Madame de Maintenon, you know, and I know too, that the Duchesse d'Orleans calls her an old hag; but then—a word to the wise—eh?—what shall we say to Madame the Duchess herself?—what a fat woman she is, but excessively clever,—such a letter writer!—Well—you see, my dear young friend, that it is a very difficult matter to decide upon,—but you must already be fully aware what plan I should advise."
"Already, Madame?"
"To be sure! What have I been saying to you all this time?—did you not hear me? Shall I repeat my advice?"